I keep daydreaming about pulling my molar with a pair of pliars. I want to do it SO bad...

It's hurts like hell.

You're a bit of a paradox. You try to get everyone to like you, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. You usually wind up being the mediator; both non-menthol and menthol alike can be understood by you. It takes a special kind of person to smoke just you however, and you're still waiting.

Find out what cigarette you are. Take the Cigarette Test byGirlwithagun

I don't smoke. In fact...I dislike it a great deal.

I can't relate to the others. Comet is as "real" as a human.

IF you had fuckin' fashion sense...what would it be?

# 1 Gothic
# 2 Punk
# 3 Raver
# 4 Eclectic
# 5 Retro
# 6 Wigger/Gangsta
# 7 Nerd
# 8 Trendy/Preppy

Goth? Hahahahahahaha.

What is your Poetic Profile?

# 1 Impressionistic/ Surreal
# 2 Hoku
# 3 Ironic Verse
# 4 Varied Freestyle
# 5 Sunshine & Rainbows
# 6 Suicide Poem
# 7 Depression Poem
# 8 Rehashed Regrets
# 9 Tearjerker
# 10 Triumphant Anthem
# 11 Love Poem
# 12 Tragic Epic
# 13 Romantic Epic
# 14 Gothic Epic

Heh heh. Yep.

click here to take the what's your foo anthem? test!

Eh?

If I were a Member of TONIC, I'd be EMERSON!

Kind and Caring...

All about the Music...

Love hats, and have been known to set myself on fire (There's no connection between the two!)...

Would rather read literary classics than fiddle with a stupid computer...

Quirky sense of humor, and always ready with a smile...

Click here
to take the test again!

This test made by
Kim @ Keynote-Tonic™

Emerson...heh.

take free enneagram test
Fours are all about being unique and creating their own distinct culture. They experience the highs and lows of life more intensely than other types. This makes them great creative forces (artists, writers, filmmakers). Fours often feel like misplaced children, and they long for a sense of real family.

This IS me!

You're the FONT tag- some people ignore you, some people adore you. When you like someone, you like them a lot, but when you don't like them- watch out.

And what kind of FONT am I? Andy, of course!

Fuck this shit...

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

I love blue...yeah, it's my fav. color and NO I didn't cheat like most do.

Which Oyster Boy Character Are You?

Heh, heh.

Who's Your Inner Psycho?

AH, YEAH!

I need sleep now.

Which Futurama Character Are You?

Oh the horror!

I was looking through Google and I typed my e-mail in the search engine (don't ask) AND I found this site:

Amerika Mail

I will translate, just in case you don't understand.

Here you find all addresses of "pen pals" to Americas....

Here Irgentwo an instruction wrong should its please informs me into the case immediately...

My e-mail is third on the list. WTF!

After I found Pablo's site...I wrote him this:

You were great!

I just saw you yesterday (first timer here) and I enjoyed the show (in Irvine) very much. I was hoping you'd do the Indian impressions (I love those) but I was glad to find it in the CD instead. I also enjoyed Steve Kramer, as well. Dude, there were A LOT of people yesternight! It wasn't like that when I saw Carlos there...then I thought...Spring Break...right.

You know, many people (::cough:: Lars from Metallica ::cough::) don't like P2P files such as Napster, but if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have gotten to hear any of your stuff...along with my other fav. comedians Carlos Mencia and BRIAN REGAN.

I hope to catch you in my town, Ontario in the next few weeks. I am OVER excited to see Brian, but I can't wait to see your show again. I hope you, Carlos and Freddy get together and visit Ontario soon!

Take care,

Cristal (dork)

P.S.- Oh yeah, I was that chick with that blue stripped shirt AND the lip ring (curly hair). I went with my uncle Carlos and Aunt Gia...My uncle kept calling you "Loco." Heh heh...he's like that.

Yeah...that was bad.

I was looking through the archives and I came across this short dialogue I wrote back in November.

Riding in the Car Like Idiots

I must have been pissed or something similar.

I was thinking about what make up to smack on my face for tomorrow night while watching The Style. channel. After a few minutes of thinking...I decided to just go with my orange shadow and my "I don't give a fuck about my fucked up hair" hairstyle. It's just a night at the Improv. There is a dress code, but this isn't the fuckin' Acadamy Awards, dammit. If the comedians can dress like shit (and most do) then SO CAN I!

Oh yeah, I am stubborn.

I got a few info. together and finally...I am going to see Pablo Fransisco on Wednesday!

I cannot wait, man!

find your queer
as folk personality!

I have never seen the show.

At humanforsale.com:

You are worth exactly: $1,318,476.00.

We hope you can find somebody who is wealthy enough to afford you.

Right.

I was walking around in the mall when I hear a man playing the piano as I entered. I loooved it soo much. I never get to hear live music, so I stood there and listened. I had to leave, though. My mother wanted to shop a bit and I was bored out of my ass. I did go to Hot Topic, although I got out of there as fast as I came in. Too crowded. I bought a shirt that says, "Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic" and a Young Homer Simpson pin.

I was still thinking about the piano player and so while my mother and her friend were buying some pretzels I went over the table where they were selling the piano player's CD. I asked how much and this sales person told me it was $15. I told him, "alright, let me have one..," Then he says, "You've been listening, huh?" I go, "Yeah."

"Would you like him to sign it?"

"Uh, well...sure...um, ok..I, uh..sure, why not."

Yeah, I know...that was bad.

The sales person said.."Hey, no pressure here, if you want to...so, who should he make it out to, Reeses?" I was wearing my Reeses shirt. I laughed a fake laugh. Then Matt, the piano player came over and asked for my name.

"It's Cristal..."

"Crystal with a Y or...?"

"No, C-R-I..."

"Oh, ok...I like that, it's nice."

"Thanx."

Then he told me about his website and about upcoming CDs and such. I shook his hand and left. I couldn't wait to get home and listen to it.

As I got in the car, I read what he wrote me and expecting a formal autograph.

I read:

"Cristal, thank you Best Wishes." then scribbled his name.

I was right.

I took a test which selects the best part of my body that I would like to have peirced

# 1 Lip: I have it done.
# 2 Septum: Aunt told me not to get one there.
# 3 Ear Lobe or lobes: I've had them since I was 15 days old.
# 4 Ear cartlidge: Nope
# 5 Eyebrow: Thought about it...
# 6 Genitals: HELL NO.
# 7 Labret: It was that or the lip...I should have gotten the spike.
# 8 Nipple or nipples: Not even.
# 9 Nostril: Thought about it as well.
# 10 Tongue: hmmm...nah.
# 11 Belly button: Nope/

I took a Cowboy Bebop Selector:

# 1 Ed
# 2 Jet
# 3 Spike
# 4 Vicious
# 5 Faye

I wonder why Julia is not in this.

If I were a web "feature" you love to hate. I'd be:



You look at me like I'm crazy. You've filed a restraining order. I've shared too much. I'm not finished

Hahaha...

and I LOVED this one here:

If I were a web "feature" you love to hate. I'd be:


Zero Wing!: If I were a Comedian, I'd be Carrot Top. If I were a soda, I'd be Melon Mello Yello. But I'm a Web Feature! All your Stupidity Are Belong to Us!!!!111


I don't think AYBABTU is annoying...and Carrot Top...I love this style.

Yes, of course.


Which Sifl & Olly Show Character Are You?
Brought to you by Fifth Dream Today.

Dammit, I wanted to be Sifl OR Chester.

Huh, Punk? Do Ya? What about the HYPNOTIC Bunnies?

Find out what YOUR inner non-sequitur is!

quiz by A.V. Phibes

I have no idea what this test is about...but the bunny was cool.

She also sent me a flash.

It's sperm...and they talk. Funny joke, too.

Sperm Flash-Funny Stuff, man

A little something my friend, Jules, sent me:

A drunk staggered onto a bus reeking of alcohol. He lurched down the aisles until he collapsed into a seat next to a priest.

The drunk's shirt was stained, his hair was all over the place and and he had a half empty bottle of whiskey sticking out of his pocket.

He opened his newspaper, struggled to focus and began to read. A few minutes later he asked the priest "Father, what causes arthritis"?

The priest turned on the drunk and snapped: "Mister, it's caused by fast living, loose women, too much whiskey and contempt for your fellow man".

The drunk hiccoughed and slurred: "Well I'll be damned" and went back to reading his paper.

Suddenly the priest realised that perhaps he had been a little hasty and he said to his fellow passenger: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I haven't, Father," the boozer replied. "I was just reading in the paper that the Pope has it."

Check this:

Ah, fuck it...no suspense...

I cut my hair again.

I have to check out some performers for a night out at...

The Improv

In Irvine:

Pablo Fransisco: 3/27-3/30
Jim Breuer: 4/25-4/27
Dave Attel: 6/19-6/23

Hollywood and Brea have nothing good so far and Ontario...

I need to investigate that a little since their web page is not built yet.

I got a call from Viri.

I haven't talked to her since last Wednesday, but I was glad she did.

I was ready to greet her with delight when she spoke. I could bearly hear her voice and I had her repeat her name a few times because I wasn't certain who was calling me. Then she blurted out that Martin, her boyfriend of three years, had died. I was in shock. All I can think about was, what the fuck.

I couldn't believe what I just heard. I mean he was only 21...him dying was beyond my thoughts. I listened to Viri while she tried to find meaning to his death. I tried my best to console her...but she and I both knew that words aren't going to help for now. I was mute for most of the conversation. I wanted so bad to make her feel well, but that is beyond my skills and abilities.

I told her to hang in there and not to do anything severe to her health. I told her that she is strong and that she was going to make it.

I just hope she listened to me.

I've been taking to many damn quizzes.

That's because you are pathetic and think you will find yourself in these idiotic quizzes, bitch.

Right, Cristal #2. I thought you were dead?

Fuck you, shithead. How can I be around when you've been scarfing down junk food! I can't even fuckin' BREATHE in your contaminated mind anymore!

Hey, if I kill YOU along the way of killing myself...then I will accomplish more than expected. A bonus.

I fuckin' hate you.

Same here.

See what cereal box character you are:0)



::sigh::





Take the High Yield Killing Method Test Now!!

I am a disaster.

And Finally, I have taken the Purity Test.

You are 79% Pure!
(Very interesting.)

Here's how the REST of the world breaks down, compared to you:

people less pure than you (89%)
people like you (1%)
people more pure than you (10%)

This time...I am almost..nope during THESE times...I am unique..

Or a liar.

I have now taken the Bitch Test and I am:



How others compare:

0% (same as you)
3% (less bitchy than you)
97% (bitchier than you)

Once again...I am unique.

I took the Lazy Test and I am:

92% lazy

FYI, you are not quite lazy enough to require help with de-panting:

But that's cool.

FUN FACTS...

people lazier than you (4%)
people just as lazy as you (0%)
people less lazy than you (94%)

BONUS FUN FACTS...

48% of the people who have union jobs take naps at work.
74% of the people who have trust funds have nice breasts.
16% of vegetarians gave blood after September 11th.
Protesters like to dance.
And the laziest person at TheSpark is Greg McKenna and he is mexican and desires money from a bitch.


Ah yes. I hope you took notice that so far I am the only one who has gotten 92%.

::goes back to watching TV::

I'm thinking about making and selling bracelets for a profit. I want to see if I can do such thing. Of course, I have to sketch some ideas. All the colors and designs. I need samples of beads. Lot of them. It might be good to buy the beads in TJ since it's probably more cheaper and more of a variety over there.

I've been thinking about this, but if I still have more to think about. I don't want to waste the money I have saved from my previous job. All the bitching and hard work will NO go down the gutter. Fuckin' Borders snobs!

(that's doesn't include everyone who works in borders...just a selected few)

It just started to rain again!

It's hella cold, but hella awesome.

I took the McDonalds test, and guess what I got?





You can take the
McDonalds Product Test by Matio64
here!

I like the nuggets, really.

Go Faeries!!


Take the What Faery Are You? Quiz!

This quiz was made by lia

Hmmm...I like air.

My anthem is "Creep", by Radiohead. I'm such a fuckin' weenie at times, but I mean well. I have a big heart, but I'm afraid to TALK to people, much less help them. People may be irritated at my spineless nature, but I have other things to worry about. Find out what YOUR anthem is HERE!

I really got Staind's For You, but that code is fucked. For You is my anthem for the present, but Creep is my anthem for life.

As of NOW, I have become the outsider of this so-called family. I've been disliked in the past, but those were by people that didn't know my very well. This is my "family." The ones who should be able to understand me (since they've known me most of my life).

I don't want to go back to hurting myself again and because of them.

I have decided to change the fond since I use Andy on everything else.

I suppose you can understand the font even better now.

0% - 10% (Britney) Oh dear, oh dear. Far from being a world destroying DeathKiddy, you appear to enjoy kittens, bunnies and boybands. Not a cloud enters your sky and all is sweetness and light for you. Fucker. Take the DeathKiddy Test!

SO, the FUCK what.

I am Alice! You're just a girl; you tend to get frustrated easily, you daydream quite a bit, and you try to avoid making trouble, though curiosity always gets the better of you. Even under tight circumstances, however, you put aside (some of) your fear and figure out what's the best thing to do. You want a better understanding of your world.

Nah, I am more like Kathy Hodson.

I look like Chucky too. Maybe.

What do people say behind your back? Find out @ digitalcharisma

Harsh but true.

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

My mother and grandma want me go to Sears to pick up an application with my aunt.

I wonder why they feel like they HAVE to "worry" about what I do and DON'T do.

I am a loser and I wish they realized that like I have.

Some of the stuff I have bought at Hot Topic (and of the girls I talked to at Hot Topic...no I don't work there).



What I want, next:

If i was a serial killer i would be Ed Gein . The Original Leather face. Ed gein, started out as a grave robber, robbing graves for the remains of women around the age of 50 and using the bits and pieces that he found to furnish his house. Eventually moving up to living subjects Ed would go on to kill 3 local women whom he would decapitate, skin and leave on meat hooks in his basement. He later went on to confess that he would fashion masks and vests out of the skin of the women he had killed, even going as far as cooking and eating their hearts. Ed believed that he had to do these killings because his dead mother told him to. Silence of the lambs, Psycho and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre are just some of the many movies that have been inspired by the life of Ed Gein. Kill Count: 3 Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now! I'd better get to work. ::starts chainsaw:: I Will Die of Natural Causes. Your choice of life style has enabled you to live a nice long life.. To eventually die of a stroke, or was it a heart attack.. Either way you out lived just about anyone that gave a shit about you anyway.. Congrats Find out how you will die, Take the Death Quiz now! I deleted this for some reason, but I got it back up. (maybe it was the picture) What Beatles' song are you? You are the song "Nowhere Man." Most likely, you talk in rhyme, are very smart, are short, and named Jeremy. Or maybe you're not. At least, that's the Nowhere Man in Yellow Submarine. You're song starts with some great harmony and then goes into some really awesome lyrics. You're a great song. You should be proud to be Nowhere Man! What time period are you a Beatle from? You are a Sgt. Pepper Beatle - People often question the meaning of your songs and what the heck you were on when you wrote them. But really, who cares? Because all you need is love! Wednesday, March 13, 2002 So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh? Well, my name IS Cristal. This is MY fav. letter though: So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh? Now THIS is me. I got a call from an old co-worker in my former job in Borders (the wherehouse, people). I was wondering what had happened to her. I remember the day I got "laid off." I left her a note that stated the following: "I got fired and I am FREE! Yeah! I won't have to deal with this shit anymore. Talk to you later, Cristal" OK, it wasn't similar to that, but it's close enough. My memory is VERY terrible. Anyway, we talked for a while. She asked why I didn't respond to her e-mail (she had sent me an e-mail after I left work and I responded back. Two days later she writes back asking me WHY I hadn't written back...when IN FACT I DID write her back and so I wrote her another e-mail...she never got that either). I told her what might have happened and we laughed it off. She then tells me that she has been trying to get Jeff (my brother's friend's stepfather and MY former co-worker as well) to get a hold of ME or get my number. She tried for about two weeks and he would sorta deny her because he thought that I might get mad (ha, yeah right). That's when I remember that my brother had told me that Jeff had actually called me a few weeks ago, but I was asleep (like always). It all fell into place. So after that was clear she asked the formal "how are you" and so on. She then told me what was said the day AFTER I was booted. This is what she tells me: "Kevin had said that, 'Yes, someone was let go yesterday for certain reasons,' Then he said that it was you who was let go and the reason was because you had your hands in your pockets." I have NEVER heard of ANYONE being let go because HE or SHE had their hands in their OWN pockets! It was so incredible that I couldn't resist the temptation of laughter. Jeeze, Kevin said that like I was the ONLY one who was doing that (Kevin was my "second supervisor"). I know that I fooled around a lot, but who wouldn't! It was DEAD in that work place! Aside from being VERY super boring, it was colder than frost-bitten nipples. I didn't want to wear gloves because it slowed down my working abilities. I had no other option than to PUT my hands IN my pockets. Oh well. If I ever have any grandchildren...I will tell them the time "ol' grandma got her ass fired because she had her hands in her pockets in an atompshere that was around 40 degrees." I can't wait. Tuesday, March 12, 2002 I re-read Amy's e-mail again (it is still a little surreal) and I read something that made me feel SO good inside. We all had a lot of fun freshman year playing the card game "SPEED" every day during break and lunch. We would talk about you sometimes as we sat around watching the card game. We kinda felt like you were missing there. I didn't think ANYONE would ever remember me let alone MISS me. I just had a chat with an ol' friend of mine! I was so nervous I was typing REAL bad. I am still a little shaky, but that's the way I am. I am very "sensitive" anything can set me off like that. Anyway, it was great and she sent me pictures! (I will try to put them up later.) Now, I have to make contact with the other girls. Monday, March 11, 2002 The African bullfrog, or Pixie frog as it is often called (because of it's latin name, not because it's as cute as a fairy!), is one of the largest frogs in South Africa. Usually, they hang out in open grassland, and if there are any to be found, they'll sit around in puddles. When startled, these frogs will blow up like balloons to scare away the intruder! In the dry season, they will burrow into the ground. These guys eat lots and lots of really big bugs, fish, mice, lizards, and even other frogs. What kind of Frog are you? Fat too. AverageYou were probably an average child. Nothing less, nothing more. test yourself at geekykid.net Me average. I'm Jubilation Lee What X-Men Character are You? Can this be justifiable? You are Fozzie! Wokka Wokka! You love to make lame jokes. Your sense of humor might be a bit off, but you're a great friend and can always be counted on.. Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz! I'm Fozzie! ::snip snip!:: I'm a Wind Spiriti Thought above feeling and mind over matter are your mottos. Others come to you for advice and guidance. Some see you as introverted and snobbish, but they are merely jealous of your common sense knack to think things through. Don't be afraid to listen to your heart though. I am not "snobbish." Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You? "Spider (he's our hero)...Spider (get rid of)...Spider" I taste like this: Hmmm... Tastes like Chicken. Am I chicken? Am I a frog? Am I human? All unfamiliar meats taste like chicken, and that's what I am, an unfamiliar meat. What Flavour Are You? ...and this... I am a subtle taste, like Pine. I am a quiet, fresh taste, almost more of a scent than a flavour. You will be aware of me, but not quite remember me without being reminded. Not that I'm boring; on the contrary, I'm just a little outside the ordinary. What Flavour Are You? Pine flavoured chicken. Aw, cheer up little ducky. Why so glum? Find your inner rubber ducky. I sure am. Sunday, March 10, 2002 I wonder how others percieve me. After I came from TJ I entered the bathroom and the first thing I did was look at myself in the mirror. I stared at myself for a long second. I started to look away, but I wanted to catch another glimps of what I was trying to comprehend. I couldn't see anything uncomely about my face. I stared longer this time. I was falling in deep admiration for the way my eyes looked when I didn't force a feeling through them. They looked so tranquil and soft. I love it when I wear glittery orange and brown eye shadow