My Jeremy and I



This was a few weeks ago. Um, yeah. :D

MY wallpaper



Ozzy made me that wallpaper a few minutes ago and I must say.. IT FUCKING rocks. Of course, that resized picture doesn't do it justice.

DarkSi35: oxie
DarkSi35: i got something for you
DarkSi35 wants to directly connect.
DarkSi35 is now directly connected.
I am Oxie Moron: Hmm?
DarkSi35: (shows picture)
I am Oxie Moron: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
DarkSi35: Its a wallpaper for you
I am Oxie Moron: That fucking ROCKS!
DarkSi35: i made it after you left
I am Oxie Moron: *drools!*
I am Oxie Moron: DAMN YOU!
I am Oxie Moron: UGH!
DarkSi35: What
I am Oxie Moron: *cries* It's so damn GOOD.
DarkSi35: Oo
DarkSi35: k
I am Oxie Moron: The colors. AHH! I envy you.
I am Oxie Moron: THANKS!!!!
DarkSi35: I didnt think you would react so... postitively
I am Oxie Moron: Haha. Why not?
I am Oxie Moron: My GOD, it makes Tristan look like a goddess.

So damn true.

So yeah. That is my ABK stuff and well... my backyard. *shrugs* Something to do.

Happy birthday Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling.

Glee!

The new cover for APC is... yummy.

I haven't been reading The Cauldron much, but they have new pictures (from Newsweek)!

Is it me, or does "Hermione" look more... blonde? :X I really look forward the PoA trailer (said to be shown in a Looney Tunes movie) and the Dementors!

Eminem seems to like Potter too.

:: Rap star Eminem is not known for his gestures of kindness.

In fact the name of his latest tour, Anger Management, gives you some indication as to his level of tenderness. Well apart from his devoted seven-year-old daughter Hailie, that is. The rap star, also known as Slim Shady, has become a fan of boy wizard Harry Potter. A source told me: "He reads all the books to his daughter before bedtime." This is where author JK Rowling comes in. While on tour in London recently the rapper hoped to catch up with JK in an attempt to land a signed copy of her latest tome. But Em also wanted a snap to show his daughter that they had met. Sadly no meeting actually took place, but Eminem actually sent her a note of thanks for creating "such a great read". Apparently the star wanted to keep this quiet so as not to ruin his tough guy image.

Well Em, your secret is safe with me!

*Dr. Evil* Riiiight.

I just ran into her in the garage. She was pretending to sort out her work clothes, but I know better.

If she's thinking about drinking gasoline... *frown* I can't stop her. I am too afraid to try.

Yeah. This template will stay for the time being.

Erm, I made a new acquaintance today! His name is Gary and he is homeless. I have seen him on and off for about a year now and just today he came up to me with his bike and asked me how long I had before I graduated. He told me about how he used to attend Chaffey College (JC) and how there weren't any homes around the time he attended. Times change. So, he asked for my name and he told me his. It didn't seem like he was going to shake my hand so I pulled out mine. It was pretty cool.

I got my Alpha Beta Kappa stuff today. A certificate and such. I will post pictures of it tomorrow.

Then just now, after I woke up from my three-hour nap, I went into the living room and I found my mother putting the phone away and crying. I asked her what was wrong, but she shook her head and said it was nothing.

"Are you sure?"
"Yes, um... I guess the baby isn't going to be born."
"Ohh."

And then she started crying and I didn't know what to do. I am not much with words, so I did something I thought I could never do. I grabbed her and held her in my arms. I let her cry on my shoulder as I tried to relax her and I wasn't going to pull away first. The last time we hugged like that it was in 2000 when my uncle passed away. This time, only one of us was crying. How could I cry? I was too guilty and too strong-headed to cry. I had to be the "controlled" one. Even though I am beyond that. So, then after she pulled away she tells me, "I guess God doesn't want it to be born." I didn't answer back. I just told her to go to bed and I would finish cleaning.

I guess she really wanted that child. This also made me think. Think about having one of my own. Just to make her happy. I am not ready, but now... I am thinking about planning to have one. I used to hate the idead about having one of my own. Not so sure about that anymore. I just hope she doesn't do anything stupid, like kill herself. She's tried before. Meh.

Okay, it's obvious that I lack HTML skills. I seriously don't know where my mind is. I should be able to fix this, but... meh. I can't. I have other ideas on a new layout, but I really liked this one. It was simple and whatnot. -_- Eh...

AHHH! I am a fucking dork. Heh yeah. Anyway... the other template it gone and since I was going to make a new one.. it stays. Bah.

It's been boring.

Grandmother and Co. left yesterday (thank god). Of course, the last thing she tells me (and my sister) before she leaves is "take care of your mother." -_- Nice way of making me feel responsible for her misfortune. I couldn't take anymore of Mother's "oh pitty me" bullshit. Gah! I am very bitter. Ha.

Vacations are coming! This Tuesday will be my last day before I get to do more of... nothing. Hmmm. Next term is also my last term. I still don't know what to do. I am also trying to figure out whether I should dye my hair black or dark brown. I'm going to miss my red. Oh yeah, speaking of red, it's been two weeks since I last gave myself some cats (I think). I've been beating the urges down and I'm exhausted. Woo.

Looks like Ozzy is still having trouble calling for "Cristal" and not "Oxie." My family know it's him now, though. *shakes head*

In other news, my mother might have to forget about having the child. My grandmother told me this afternoon how it's making Mother sick. I will go to hell after I suffer for sixty more years for this one.

If I were someone else, I would have provided Mother with a grandchild. I'm not ready for that kind of shit, though. She's gonna have to hope my sister wants children.

If Penny Arcade were a 30-minute cartoon on Comedy Central... I'd have something good to watch on TV.

Their shit is... heh and haha.

These are just a few of what Brain thinks I have. These are all mild, though. Nothing severe.

Scale of 5-1: 5 being mild and 1 being stupid but still afraid (more like uncomfortable).

As a kid:
Anginophobia - Choking: 5
Rhabdophobia - Criticized severely, or beaten by rod or instrument of punishment: 4
Enissophobia - Criticism: 4
Phagophobia - Swallowing or eating: 5
Contreltophobia - Abuse: sexual: 5
Scelerophobia - Men, bad or burglars or being harmed by wicked persons: 4

As of now:
Aphenphosmphobia - Touched, being touched: 5
Contreltophobia - Abuse: sexual: 5
Atychiphobia - Failure: 3
Enissophobia - Criticism: 5
Topophobia - Situations, certain: 2
Glossophobia - Speaking in public: 3
Ophthalmophobia - Stared at, being: 1
Anthropophobia - Society or people in general: 4
Social Phobia - Social (fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations): 5
Sociophobia - People in general or society: 2
Agoraphobia - Crowded public places like markets: 2
Decidophobia - Decisions: making decisions: 1
Pnigophobia - Choking or being smothered: 5
Enochlophobia - Crowds or mobs: 2
Angrophobia - Anger: 5
Erotophobia - Love, sexual love: 4
Philophobia - Love, falling or being in: 2
Doxophobia - Praise, receiving: 1
Mastigophobia - Flogging or punishment: 5
Gamophobia - Marriage: 4
Rhabdophobia - Criticized severely, or beaten by rod or instrument of punishment: 5
Scelerophobia - Men, bad or burglars or being harmed by wicked persons: 5

Most of them are the same with different names. And I have a project in mind now. I was going to post some phobias that I thought were funny, but it wouldn’t be right for the ones who are afraid of yellow or wet dreams. *grin*

I am bad.

So BORED. Here are some stupid referrals.

Self-Injury-Pictures
"John Mayer wallpaper"
Animutations
habbo "lamp"
"i stutter"
"daniel radcliffe in drag"
vigina stores (I misspelled "vagina") -_-
"fucks Hermione"
im so damn fat i am out of control XD
get rich on habbo
Habbo Room free Paint
zeeb o_O
moron i am
Silly Moron
"you are too busy when"
Coreen new breasts
"daniel radcliffe" fucks
cho chang wallpaper for mac
"bobby trend"
julian
Michael, even if you said that I am asking for too much, I would listen to you on it.
"Bayer Back And Body Pain"
yeeees guy on simpsons
hermione granger lesbian comics
sam i am seussisms
nitwit blubber oddment tweak
fuck moron .com
Harry potter sound clips
Oxie

And most of my blog translated in french. o_O No idea who did that. French person.

God. I need sleep.

It's done. I just got done having my meeting with Ozzy. It was very cool. He did most of the talking and I was GLAD he had a lot to say. Since I don't say much... it worked well.

At first, he kept calling my home, but since he doesn't know my real name he would ask for "Oxie." My mother would hang up on him thinking he was some psycho, but when he called for the third (or so) time my mother passed it to my sister and thank JEBUS she knows my net name is Oxie so she knew to pass it to me. He called around four and I asked him to come over around 4:30. I met his mother (she was wonderful) and we decided to walk around Ontario to waste time. He knew more about my town's architecture than I should know. It was like I was on some tour. Very cool. He talked in German (among other languages) and made impressions... great, great stuff. Then we walked down to downtown Ontario and talked all the way down there until we stopped to check out some stores with Tejano clothing. There was some underground room in that place so we went there to talk, but mainly because it was cooler. Someone came in so we left for home. We stopped at a Rite Aid on the way because I was craving a drink. And as I was trying to purchase my drink the cashier was totally flriting with me. He was... it was beyond flirting. He had the stupidest coy smile that he looked like he was either stoned... or retarded. I just stared at him TRYING not to laugh. He gave me my 69 cents back, taking his damn time and putting it slowly in my hand. XD Then Ozzy told me that he leered at him. Gave him the "evil stare." Heh heh. We laughed our asses off after we left.

We would stop from time to time and speak about nothing. We then stopped at my old school and talked some more. Talked, talked, talked. He did most of the time. Heh heh. It was fun. He had to go, though. His mother was coming to pick him up and he told me that she didn't really trust girls much. Ha. WTF was I gonna do to him? And now... I am talking to him on the phone once again while he is doing... some kind of stuff. Espionage. :P It's so funny how he calls me "Oxie" instead of Cristal. I really like that better *hints* Weird kid.

Well, I just got done talking to Ozzeh (about three or so times). He needed to rent a car in LAX and wanted to know directions to a near by Cyber Cafe (from my home)... so that's what I did for a few minutes. I hope I didn't lose him. THEN he asked me if I wanted to go and I kept stalling, so he said that he would call me from LAX and of course... by then I would have made up my mind.

Oy, what to do, what to DO. He is with his mother and if you all must know... he is 19. I've known him for over a year now (on and off). Who knows... I might go after all. Just to hang out. I am so fucking bored here... Hmmm. We'll see.


10:08 PM: He called me back at around nine and of course, it was too late to come around my place. :P It was great talking to him, though! Really neat. Maybe he can come by tomorrow and I can torture him then. *evil grin*

An online buddy of mine (Ozzy) is in town! Well, not my town, but near me (Pomona). He's here on business but is planning to give me a call. o_O

I should be used to having onliners call me nowadays.

She makes me want to skin myself.

Oh wait. I already HAVE. Twice. Thanks, Mom.

I really just want to give myself some cats and get it over with.

LOL

I was reading my old conversations from What Did You Say? when I came across this this one and this one. (they go together)

Man, I was PMSing badly. It looks like George was pissed off too. ;)

This is old, but..

If you type "weapons of mass destruction" in Google you will get this page. XD

Read about it at CNN.

AHHHH! I keep forgetting to post this.

Anyway, I was told Sunday night (Monday morning?) by a fellow Habbo that A Perfect Circle is coming out with a new album. A curse on me for not knowing about it! A CURSE! Anyway... you can read the info at http://www.aperfectcircle.org/

Glee! :D

Okay. Now you can make fun of me.

Notice: My hair is wet in those pictures. Imagine that length an inch or two shorter. Yes, good.

Oh... and no one knows about my Alpha Beta Kappa nomination. They don't deserve to know.

I saw some pamphlets on the couch while I was walking through my living room today.

They are about pregnancy. -_-

Woo, that was some post down there, huh? Anyway to change the tone in here... I started working on my latest stupid pictures. I might post that tomorrow.

Current news: I cut my hair again. Shoooort. Damn short.

So, it’s semi-confirmed*: Mother is pregnant.

*I am still not sure. I am too shocked to want to know.

I spoke with my brother Wednesday and we talked about current events when he mentioned that he was told THAT my mother was pregnant.

Me: “Huh?”
Him: “Yeah, that’s what they told me.”
Me: “Hahahaha. That can’t happen. She tied her tubes a LONG time ago.”
Him: “Well, I don’t know.”
Me: “Probably bullshit rumors.”

And now, while I was eating dinner my grandmother told me in front of my mother. “You are going to have a baby brother. Or sister!”

I wasn’t thrilled at all. I was very upset, but I didn’t say anything. I don’t see how this is possible and I hate the idea that she could be. Before any of you jump the gun and give me whiplash, let me explain. MY mother is PREGNANT. My mother, who used to pull her own hair because I couldn’t go to sleep as a baby, is pregnant. My mother, who left me (as a baby) alone in a room on a bed (not crib) next to a vaporizer which I fell on and got 3rd degree burns, is pregnant. My mother, who would beat my brother, sister, and me for not being able to do our homework on time, is pregnant. She gave my brother and me an ultimatum at nine and ten, telling us to leave home or shut it. A mother who would have picked her abusive husband over us until he smacked the shit out of her and burned a few of our items. That bitch that knew I was slashing myself and only took me to therapy because my teacher told her to is pregnant. That bitch whom I fucking hate at times, who breaks me... My mother, who has been terrible as one… my mother who is unstable is pregnant. This only means that she would be bringing another living creature into this world to torture.

She doesn’t deserve a child just as much as I don’t. I am not selfish. I am just worried. It still doesn’t explain much, though. Bah.

January 28, 2003

Dear Cristal Bernal,

I am pleased to inform you that you have been nominated for Alpha Beta Kappa National Honor Society. This honor society recognizes students for excellence in classroom and laboratory work, leadership in the classroom and elsewhere on campus, and personal integrity and good moral character. Students are nominated by the Program Director or lead instructor in their program and approved by a panel of directors on campus.

As a member of Alpha Beta Kappa, you are considered a leader and role model on campus. I commend you on this honor and look forward to sharing in your continued accomplishments, both in school and in your future endeavors.

(information on the ABK Induction Luncheon)

Congratulations!

Sincerely,
Kathy Allin
Executive Director

Not even the assholes (whom were calling me over and laughing at me on my way home) could take away the sense of accomplishment from me. Well... just a little. :P I'm not sure why the date is waaaay off and the fact that I might HAVE to go to the luncheon is making me nervous.

Anyway, as Kolin would say: I reign.

*shakes head*

One word: idiocy.

I was having a bad day, but in my home... it doen't matter if you've busted your head opened... you MUST say hello to visitors. I couldn't fake being polite, so I did my best and excused myself. It wasn't enough. As soon as I stepped out of my room and went into the kitchen to grab something to eat, my mother started belittling me infront of my grandma and worse of all... my sister.

"I don't have to listen to this." And I left. I locked myself in my room once again. I was so full of rage, I froze while trying to figure out what to do. That's when I saw my pair of scissors. I went straight for them and started to stab my bed. It was either that or my leg and I didn't feel like doing that myself at that moment. After that, I threw my scissors across my room and turned on the TV to relax. Sometimes I can't believe how much control she has over me. At 20, I am very pathetic.

I wanted to do a bit of my school work an hour later and I needed the net and as soon as I log on... the phone is needed. That just about did it. I grabbed my backpack, some money and left home. "I'll be back later." That's all I said before I left. Fuck you all. I was thinking about where to go after I left. It was either school or a local store. I told myself I would decide when I'd get on the main street. I didn't want to be seen at school, so to the store I went. On my way there I kept thinking about buy pills, or bags of candy to binge on, and wishing I were old enough to buy tequila. I spent a good while at the store and bought hair products (my hair is horrible), but no pills or candy. I already have some and I wasn't about to waste my money on more (pills). I didn't take any today, anyway. As an alternative for candy... I bought Altoids. MmmMMM.

On my way home some kid kept yelling at me to get my attention. I didn't listen at first, but when he wouldn't shut up I turned around to see what he wanted, but quickly thought, "What am I doing? WHO the fuck cares," and turned back around. He said something about his friend and my t-shirt. *shrugs* There was also a small car crash on my way back. I wanted to laugh, but it wasn't right. I just looked straight ahead. I got home, got something to eat (Mother was gone), and locked myself in my room. I've been in here ever since.

So much for not writing. It's the best way to vent, this is! My only way.

I've been writing a tad too much. I'm going to try and lay off it for a while.

Having a dream of an already-deceased loved one is very unpleasant. I haven't been up this early in two months.

Yesterday was a good day. Night, really.

Sin and I spent the morning and afternoon watching the Twilight Zone marathon (I catch it every year). We also waited for our family to leave so we could spent our night day alone at home. My father called, though. He asked me if Sin and I would like to go out with him and his family to catch a fireworks show. I hesitated at first, but it was too hot to stay in so I accepted his invitation. We got there a bit early (had to get a good place) and bought some ice cream so we could distract ourselves while we waited.

Fireworks were amazing. Loud, but amazing. Through the whole thing I thought about my sweetheart and how I wished he was near me. It’s a scary thought, but lovely all the same. My favorites were the golden fireworks (they looked like fae dust) and these green firefly-like fireworks. Those were awesome. While I was standing there with my cousin a man stood next to me with his daughter blowing his disgusting smoke on me. He proceeded to call the cop “assholes” and “motherfuckers” among other names. I don’t like outspoken people like that. Especially when it’s not important. Attention seekers. Bah. Aside from that, it was all good.

As soon as the show was over people starting screaming. Preachers. I always feel guilty around them. On the way home my father called my brother and asked me to speak with him. First time I have spoken to him since what happened to him last week. He seemed fine, but a bit depressed. I know the feeling. We get home and thank my father for the night, have some hotdogs and chill in my room. Mighty good night.

So, now Sin is gone. She has to start school on Tuesday and has to get ready and such. As for me… I still have a few things to sort out.

Yep. I still play with my food.

She’s back.

Yesterday, as I was finishing Book 5 (BTW, the person whom I thought was gonna die... did) my stepfather told me that my mother was coming tomorrow (today). My heart sank. I couldn’t handle the fact that she was nearly home so I grabbed my wallet and took my hidden razor. I gave myself 20 Cats for every year I have spent with her. I was gonna do it anyway. I was too down.

A few hours before I did what I did, I left school ten minutes early (I was getting anxious) and the first thing I did when I got home was take a couple of pills (cramps). Sin pointed out some Tequila in the counter and it has been years since I tried a little sip, so I got a shot glass and poured some for myself. I took it outside, though, since I didn’t want the kitchen smelling. I took a little tiny sip and almost gagged from the smell/taste. I poured a tiny bit on the grass and then I quickly drank it down. Heh heh. That was something, but it wasn’t really strong. I went inside to help Sin clean up when I realized something.

“Hey, is it bad when you take pills and Tequila?”

LOL. Oops. I was a little… woozy and speaking nonsense and a few minutes later I was knocked out. I am so WEAK. Ha. I only took a 2 hour nap, though. So, when I woke up this morning, I heard my mother and grandmother in the living room. Drat. I went back to sleep and waited for the alarm clock. The damn thing went off, I got up to turn it off and grabbed some clothes to take a shower. I held the doorknob, but I stopped. I went back to my desk and sat down. I looked outside for a while and thought about stuff. I had a feeling my mother was going to yell the hell out of me, even though she had no reason to do so. So, I sat there for thirty minutes thinking until I turned on my computer, signed on and wrote Mr. Dees an email stating that I would not be going to school. I’ve been doing nothing anyway. I skipped Monday, went Tuesday and Wednesday (did nothing) and skipped today. I just don’t care anymore.

She didn’t say much to me. Bought me a necklace. I feel good now. Just a little hot.

I was bored (as always) and decided to search "I am Oxie Moron" through Google and I saw the usual links with my name, but one of them stopped me and sparked curiosity. ecosystem stats for I am Oxie Moron WTF. That is all I could think of. So, I asked the smartest person I knew after I couldn't figure out what it was.

I am Oxie Moron: Look, I'm a dumbass, but what do you think THIS is?
Ph33rTheGord: Um...
Ph33rTheGord: depends... where's it from?
Ph33rTheGord: And uh... what IS it/
Ph33rTheGord: :P
I am Oxie Moron: I have NO idea. Erm... God. I just found it.
Ph33rTheGord: Where/
I am Oxie Moron: Google. I just wrote in "I am Oxie Moron" like I usually do and this came up.
I am Oxie Moron: Eh, it's probably nothing.
Ph33rTheGord: um... something about meta... or whatever...
I am Oxie Moron: lol Nevermind. I won't understand it. I think it is best if I leave this alone. :P
Ph33rTheGord: Looks to me like they spidered your blog or something, and stuck it in a database
Ph33rTheGord: Meh
Ph33rTheGord: You could e-mail the dude and tell him to fuck off...
I am Oxie Moron: What do you mean by that?
Ph33rTheGord: http://www.myelin.co.nz/ecosystem/
Ph33rTheGord: E-mail link's at the bottom, the envelope
Ph33rTheGord: uh...
I am Oxie Moron: yeah, I am there right now.
Ph33rTheGord: If you click the link, there's this huge journal DB thing
Ph33rTheGord: Yeah
I am Oxie Moron: But.. why me?
Ph33rTheGord: Well, they mentioned meta...
Ph33rTheGord: So maybe they have like a scanner or something that scans your meta keywords
I am Oxie Moron: Grrr.
Ph33rTheGord: And enters your blog into a database...
Ph33rTheGord: Like I said, e-mail the guy, tell him to fuck off
I am Oxie Moron: Mmhmm. I plan to, I hope.
Ph33rTheGord: It's pretty much an invasion of privacy
I am Oxie Moron: Seriously. I've had this before.
Ph33rTheGord: ARGH
Ph33rTheGord: fags
Ph33rTheGord wants to directly connect.
Ph33rTheGord is now directly connected.
Ph33rTheGord: Right, we have some ecosystem results here. 639 blogs, although a lot of the UserLand-hosted ones (editthispage.com etc) won't have been counted because my crawler was blocked after going too fast in the first run. The next thing I'll do is get it to group pages by IP address and only fetch, say, one page every minute from a single IP, which should let me get the UserLand ones OK. I wonder what the 'nasty crawler' threshold is on the server.

(Tech note: I cache pages, so I'll only ever fetch any given page once. I shouldn't stress any single site at all, but servers which host thousands of blogs will notice quite a few hits. That will change.)
Ph33rTheGord: Crawler ~_~;
Ph33rTheGord: They're fucking running scripts and collecting people's shit into databases
Ph33rTheGord: just like a spam emailer
Ph33rTheGord: Bah... idiots.
I am Oxie Moron: lol WHY for?
Ph33rTheGord: Um... because?
Ph33rTheGord: Damned if I know
I am Oxie Moron: Are they THAT fucking bored?
Ph33rTheGord: But yeah... it's invasion of privacy, this guy needs to shove it up his ass
I am Oxie Moron: No shit.
Ph33rTheGord: Bah
Ph33rTheGord: I'm pissed, and it's not even ME :P
I am Oxie Moron: lol
I am Oxie Moron: That other site that is under me (XeRo iLLuSiOnZ) I know that person. SOrta.
I am Oxie Moron: He has me linked in his blog.
Ph33rTheGord: Mmm
Ph33rTheGord: They probably found you through him, then
I am Oxie Moron: They have this shit on The Leaky Cauldron too.
Ph33rTheGord: Mmm
Ph33rTheGord: It's basically a link farm
I am Oxie Moron: Yeah. Hahahahaha. Goddammit.
I am Oxie Moron: Fuck it.
Ph33rTheGord: they link to you, you go in the database, a million OTHER people link to you...
Ph33rTheGord: major invasion of privacy
I am Oxie Moron: Mmhmm.
I am Oxie Moron: What can you expect on the net.
I am Oxie Moron: No such thing, really.
Ph33rTheGord: Meh
Ph33rTheGord: There is, for all intents and purposes
Ph33rTheGord: but only if you wanna download 50 programs, bounce your IP off 30 proxies, find a shell account...
I am Oxie Moron: If I were dumb enough to think that I had PRIVACY over the net, I would have written even more private and intimate posts. Which I haven't. Not as much anyway. Just fuck it. They suck anway.
Ph33rTheGord: Heh
Ph33rTheGord: Bah...

Now I feel like a fuckin' goat. I also realized that I did infact know what "meta" was, only I was too stupid to remember. HTML, Cristal! H-T-M-L. Idiot. Thanks anyway, George!

Ha. Mr. Dees and a school mate of mine are having a paper fight. I wanna join in to relief myself from stress.

Anyway, Sin and I took the bus again yesterday to buy some batteries for my boom box and and dye... for our... hair. Yeah. So, long day. Long day.

We take 62 right in front of my old high school and take a three-minute ride down the street to the nearest store (we only went on to get a day pass). As I get off, I quickly headed for the bank to get some money out first, but being me... I didn't pay attention to what was around me. I was almost hit by a car, but whatever. "I'm NOT LOOKING." That's all I had to say to that. Security guard looked at me and said, "Careful now." Bah. Sin bought some candy and I got myself the batteries and eyeshadow. Boring stuff. We leave the store and go outside to wait for the 62 again.

We sat there for a long while before it came to pick us up and we took another short ride to the Ontario Center to take the 70A. We almost took the 70A WESTbound that was headed for Rancho like we did last time. Dorks. We waited for the 70A. Waited and waited, until it finally came. This time our ride was longer and we got to rest for a second. We got off and quickly headed for Sally's. We got our dye and other accessories (Sin bought some fake eyelashes!) before we headed to a Kay-Bee Outlet store. I didn't buy anything there (first time!), but Sin got herself a Snape action figure and a set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurines. SO, it was break time! There was a Starbucks near by and got Sin and I some Tazoberries! They were as good as the one she had at the mall this weekend, but a treat is a treat. We sat down outside and talked for a while. Sin explained to me how this chick was staring me down while we were waiting for out drinks. "What?"

"Yeah, she was looking at your shoes, your hair, your clothes..."
"Ohh, yeah. That's because she wanted to be like me." Right. *rolls eyes*

I can't believe how some people waste their eyes on me. Ridiculous. So, that's that. Our day was almost over and we went across the street to take the bus back to the Center. On our way there we came across all the people the rode in the bus to Sally's. Kinda... yeah. Okay. Um, again we sat there until we got the Center and waited even longer for the 62. Ha. While we waited a Skater and a Biker came past us and the one in the bike yelled, "Damn girl, you got some ass there." Actually, not exactly like that, but close enough. You can ask Sin, she is likely to remember it more accurately because THAT was said to HER. I gave a victory dance after that because for the first time... it wasn't MY ass that was being "commented." Very good indeed. Oh, and the reason we did everything quickly was because of the bus schedules, if you don't know. The bus finally came around, we relaxed for a while and headed for home. We were in a semi-good mood until I saw them.

"OH HELL THE FUCK NO!"

As soon as we had turned the corner we saw a bunch of cars in our drive way. That only meant that my stepdad was throwing a party. Fucker. So, of course, I am pissed off because parties = beerxmales+gambling. It's pathetic. I open the front door so hard I almost broke one of my mother's plants. How dare he! Whatever. I checked my mail, dyed my hair and relaxed before I "made" Sin come with me to school. We took my boom box and blasted music while heading down there. We first went to the football field bleachers and sat there while listening to The Juliana Theory. Sin smoked and I watched the runners. We even saw some early fireworks. It got a tad boring so again, I "made" Sin come with me to the front of the school near the Auditorium. We sat untop of this cemented-like table and listening to every type of music we could find. A guy came by walking his dog and said hello, but I nodded just to acknowledge that I saw him. I don't like to be rude, but that is the best that I can do without impliying that he was welcomed to come and talk to us. Because he wasn't. It was getting boring so Sin and I talked about problems. Fun. The most popular topic was self-mutilation, of course. It was starting to get kinda bad so we stopped and blasted the radio. I stood up to see what was further down the school when Sin came across Justin Timberlake. I COULDN'T resist, so I started "dancing." It was funny. I only danced through one full song, if you call it dancing. Haha. That's when Sin and I DECLARED that we were infact dorks. It was late so we headed home (also some guys kept coming around). We skipped cracks, leaves and gum. Shrieked at the site of roaches and quickly left the school. By that time my hair was dry and ready for my other dye. My God, I am telling you this NOW... I am never gonna buy another dye other than Manic Panic (unless they make something better). Instead of my hair coming out dark violet it came out... nasty grey. I think. Heh heh. It's bad. When I get home, I'n gonna throw some red on my hair. Make it more purple. Or at least try.

I got to talk to my guy (which I hardly do) and he told me about his trip to a Godsmack concert (has something to do with MTV). He helped a chick, had his arm bent the wrong way and followed a girl around (stalked) for a few minutes only because he thought she looked almost like me. Scary. I hope to see this concert on MTV soon too, but I hardly watch TV anymore. Smack! I have been in class for an hour and I haven't done a thing. Okay, enough. I hate it when I prattle.

Well, well, well.

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I should visit this site more often.

I've been having mild anxiety all morning so far. I have a feeling something bad either HAS happened or WILL happen. This is serious.

It's the first of the month and I have this incredible urge to hurt myself.

"Cristal, you look sad." Eh, what do they know. I went to sleep late. But something is up, though. I'm careless as to what it migh be. I don't care.