Yeah, yeah.

This was written on the 29th of October.

It's 11:50 PM and I just got back 20 minutes ago.

I had set the alarm at 10AM, but my aunt (whom I haven't seen since July) banged on my door and told me to get up. Ehhh. I couldn't go back to sleep after that and a good thing I didn't because my stepdad had asked me to do a few odd jobs around the house (aside from the usual), so I had no choice but to get up and start getting busy. I did the chores then I took a shower. I had checked my email before to see if Sin had replied and this is what I got:

my mom's car broke down!!! so i was planning on picking you up this morning. steven is going to take me but what about your sis. if you get this message before i call you, call me on my cell phone. talk to you later...

MOTHER! So, I quickly tried to finish whatever I needed to get done. I was almost ready around 11:30AM when Sin called telling me that she was picking me up. I was very glad that I was ready or I would have been a wreck. I quickly started writing notes to everyone in the house before leaving with Sin. Her boyfriend, Steve, had brought her to my home.

We talked for a few before deciding to go to Denny's to eat lunch. Good stuff, good eatin'. After that Steve took us to Sin's home because it was too early to head out for Burbank. We sat around watching The Lion King and such before leaving for the show. My aunt car was fixed that same morning so we left at 4:30PM just in case there was traffic on the way. It wasn't that bad and we ended up getting there in 30 minutes. We started looking for the place when Sin saw APC's tour bus and because of that we were distracted and didn't notice the KROQ car behind us. Heh, we almost ran into the bus. :l So, we decide to park across from the bus and relax a bit. We were there waaay too early to do anything and a little nervous. After an hour of doing nothing we went where we were supposed to be and got in line. We were the fourth or so set of two's in there. We fucking stood in line for an hour before they let us in. During our wait APC started to play Vanishing. That woke us up a bit. And while we stood there listening to what we could, people would go through the doors and tease us with APC's sound. It got to the point where the door was left open a bit for a good while.

It was time to go in and we got checked to see if we had anything illegal and whatnot. We got our wristband and headed for the front of the stage. We entered a small room that was filled with misty smoke all around. Sin and I quickly moved right in front of the stage. I stood in front of a mic on the right side of the stage and we looked at the equipment for a while before I noticed that Billy was going to stand right in front of me. Keep in mind, this is my FIRST concert ever. Anyway, I was getting excited and kept checking the stage when I noticed a pick that was on the floor. I told Sin about it and she told me that she had noticed it too. So, we waited for another hour a bit anxious and cautious about the people around us. We started to notice how close they were getting to us. That's when we were told to get up (we were sitting down) and after another few minutes the room got dark and the curtains fell. There they were. A Perfect Circle.

They started off with Vanishing. As soon as the drum beats blasted through the room, I started to get a tingling sensation all over my body. I could feel the bass and drums through my throat, heart, and feet. It was amazing. Again Billy was on front stage to my right, Jeordie was on the left... James Iha was ontop of a platform behind Jeordie, Josh was on top of another platform behind Billy, and Maynard was in the center (between James and Josh). He was hiding behind this white sheet, so all you could see was his silhouette. Throughout the whole show I kept staring at Maynard and Billy. It got to the point where I couldn't sing along because I was amazed at how incredible everything was. It wasn't about how they looked or what kind of lighting they had, all that mattered was the aura music. The only downside was that I could barely hear Maynard's voice. I was getting a full blast of Billy's guitar. :D I could see that Sin was in awe over the whole thing. When they started to play Orestes I got so excited that I hugged Sin (partially). They played almost all my favorite songs. I can't remember the set list, but I do remember the songs that were played. At least... I think I do.

From Mer De Noms:

The Hollow
Magdalena
Orestes
3 Libras
Thinking Of You
Judith

From Thirteenth Step:

Vanishing
The Package
Weak And Powerless
Blue
The Outsider
Pet
The Noose
The Nurse Who Loved Me
Gravity

They also created a funny little ditty about Josh's slacks, erm... maybe it was Billy's. Grah. (Correction: it was "Fred's Got Slacks" from SNL. It's not always good to be all the way up front during a concert.) Then, Maynard asked us (the crowd) if we wanted to see James Iha "breakdance." So, while James did his thing, Jeordie proceeded to turn his bass into a turntable. It also got to the point where I thought they were going to play Sober, but that never happened. :l

God, I can't believe I was there. I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to explode. But alas, the show was almost over and they thanked us for coming. They ended the show with Judith and that's when I gave it my all. I screamed and threw myself along to that song. The song was done, the crowed clapped, and the band thanked us again. Billy grabbed a hand full of his picks and I thought he was going to give some to us, so I held my hands out, but instead he dropped the picks on the floor and grabbed my hands. Ohhh, I felt his warmth! He grabbed Sin's hands and then the other people started to get too close to me just to touch this man. After that, he went over to get some waterbottles and started to give some out to the crowd. Needsless to say, I got my hands on one. :D Sin missed the last one by an inch. Damn chicks. APC was gone by now, but everyone stayed clapping and hoping for an encore. Sin looked down to where Billy dropped his picks and managed to find one hiding on the floor. Woo. We stayed put and Sin remembered the pick we had eyed in the beginning. She wanted to get it so bad, but hesitated. Once she saw this guy get up on stage she said, "fuck it" and ran up there. That's when everyone tried to get up on stage. I tried so hard to get out of the way and because of that, I missed Sin being grabbed from behind by a security guard. "HEY!" is what he yelled at her before grabbing her and getting her back down, but she managed to get what she wanted! She got herself Jeordie's bass pick (blue) with APC's logo on it. Wooo! Since she got a pick, I asked her to give me (more like told, sorry) Billy's pick. Oooh, we were happy. After that ordeal we decided to leave. We were jubilant and deaf. It was great.

We talked about what we experience for a while. Now Sin wants to get an APC tattoo and well, I do too. That'll be a while, though. I still have to think about it. Half way home we became silent. We were trying to get it all in. As much as we could get. I didn't want to forget this night. We stopped by Sin's home to grab a bite to eat since we were incredibly hungry and then she took me home. She picked up Steven so he can drive on the way back. Sin was tired. I quietly went inside my home and room because I knew everyone would be sleeping. I couldn't sleep right away and I tried to write about the night, but I was too tired to carry on. I got 1/3 through it before I went to bed. It was my first concert and I will never forget it.

I still have a ringing in my ear, though. Sounds like feedback or mom's cooking.

It's nice to know that I'm being missed by a former peer. :D I'm pretty sure that she's bored as hell in her classrooms. She misses my "judo chop!" on her arm. Heh heh.

Anyway, SIN hasn't gotten in contact with me about APC, sooo... I guess I should, huh? I hate to seem like I am some "Are we there yet?" whore. :l Oh well.

OH MY FUCKING CHEESE! FINALLY, SOMETHING FUCK-ING good. :D

There's beautiful winds outside and I can't go out there and enjoy it because Ontario is one big ashtray. -_-

What's Your Outlook on Life?
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What color are you? (Anime Pictures)
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I am a quiz addict. Just not as bad as I used to be.

Oh yeah, I've been watching I Love The 80s: Strikes Back and I have this to say:

Howard the Duck does NOT suck, goddamnit! Look, if you take it seriously, yeah... it WILL suck ass, but you have to understand that it was the 80s. Most of the things during that era were fucking ridiculous anyway. If this movie were to come out in the 90s or even the 00s th- wait... we have Kangaroo Jack.

...

HAHAHAHA. Dammit. Oh well, you suck. Howard kicks ass.

I woke up to the smell of burning today. I looked outside and it seemed a bit orange. I also forgot that time changed today, so my clock was flashing "12:00AM." I usually go right back to sleep when I wake up early, but since nothing seemed right, I wanted to check out a few things. I went outside the side of my home in the backyard to check on my birds and I was going to place them ontop of the garbage cans (to keep them away from the sun) when I noticed a lot of white stuff on top. At first I thought it was bird poop, but as soon as I looked closer I noticed it was ashes. And I look up and you can see tiny bits of ashes raining on me. I also went in the front yard and you can't see the sky and there are bits of ashes on the floor. :l

You can read about it here.
Ohh and THIS looks interesting.

The smell is making me nauseous and the air is making me a bit itchy. I live near Fontana and Rancho Cucamonga.

Fires in California


This is what it looks like outside my front door.


Lots of smoke out in Fontana. There are other fires around and it seems to be the work of an arsonist. Or so they say. Harr.

I finally got around to making my APC desktop wallpaper.


That's just the album cover switched and the logo above and in the background.


I loved how the logo looked, so I made one by itself.


I also made one without the lettering.

Of course, they look like shit in here.

If anyone wants one, I will be glad to send you one. I have them in 1024x768. I can make them smaller, though.

Sin just called me a few minutes ago to let me know that KROQ had finally called her (after she sent them an email and phone call) to confirm the date for the APC dress rehearsal. :D!!! It's on the 29th of October (eight days!) and it starts at 7 PM in Burbank. Sin has that day and the next day off so we can stay out as long as we want.

Now, I have to go back to being sick.

This is fucking genius ---> TextAmerica.

If I had cell with a camera, I would likely have a "moblog" there. I found this site at PvP and you can see Scott's blog here. :D

Oh yeah, I am sick today. Thanks Sin! Thank your mom, too. ;)

Bored as fuck.


STUPID HUMOR: Doing shocking things, making faces,
flailing your arms about, and producing bizarre
noises are how you make people laugh. You were
always the one that people call
"wierd", and they still do, because
you are. You enjoy being wierd, and people
enjoy watching you act wierd and over-the-top.
Just be careful, too much of it at a time will
begin to annoy people. You are one FUNNY guy!

Can't spell weird, though. -_-


"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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Ehh.


You are a basic wooden chair. You sit there and do
nothing. I'll bet that legs of your chair
aren't even stable and you need to put paper
underneath it to stop it from wobbling.


"You have an IQ of a chair!" What kind of chair are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ahaaa.

Ehh. I really wasn't all too keen on typing today, but oh well. It's been getting hard to do the simplest thing. Such as, taking a shower everyday.

Friday: I got ready for a three-day-weekend with Grandpa over in Bakersfield. Kern county. Bako. The sucks-ass-to-be-there-because-there-is-nothing-to-do town. Well, it's not bad. Even going to Bakersfield beats being stuck at home doing nothing. I hadn't planned it, but my mother "made" me take my sister with me too. Anyway, while I was looking for a bag to store my apperal in, I found a Playboy magazine in my sister's closet. Of course, I was shocked. Not because it was Playboy, but because of these two reasons: I couldn't believe how easy it was to find and the fact that LaToya Jackson was on the damn cover. I stared at her face in disbelief and left my sister's room to continue my bag hunt. When little sis came home from school she came up to me to ask me something and I flat out told her, "I found your magazine."

Her: "What?"
Me: "I found it. It's in your closet."
Her: *confused*
Me: "Look, if I were you, I would at LEAST hide it well. If your mom finds it, she will kick your ass."
Her: *still confused*

Tt didn't hit me until hours later that the magazine could have belonged to my brother or stepbrother, who both used to sleep in that room. It was obvious that my sister did look at it, though. Curiosity takes over when it comes to porn. :D

Sin came to pick my sis and I a few hours later and we left this hell hole called "Home." The ride wasn't that bad. We left at around 6 PM and didn't get to Bakersfield until around 8:30-9:00 PM. I greeted my grandpa and reached up
to give him a kiss, but since he is tall I ended up kissing his neck instead of his cheek. That was weird. Haha. We ate our usual "pan dulce con leche" or milk with sweet bread. Before we went to bed Sin called me in the room they (the children) were sleeping in and showed me a picture of my grandpa's daughter, my aunt Norma's, year books.
She has four of them from 1990-1993. We had a fucking blast laughing our asses off because of the many retards that were in there. The theme seemed to be "who could get their bangs to stand the tallest." Oh Lord. It was sad. It was time for bed and because I am such a spaz... I did get carsick. I always get carsick on long trips and it doesn't fade right away. Takes me a full day to recover. So, that night I only got three hours of sleep. Sin and I slept in the living room where we discussed on how to get JR's phone number since I forgot it. We thought of emailing him, but we couldn't rely on him to reply right away and we failed at trying to remember the phone number, so we settled on calling my home
early in the morning to ask for it. Good thing I didn't lock it and wrote the number down where it was visible for an old fart knocker to see. (JR, in case you don't know, is Sin's and my friend from Habbo)

Saturday: My Grandpa and his wife had a wedding to attend to, so my aunt (Sin's mom), Sin and her sibs, and my sister and I got ready and went out shopping. I don't know how many hours we spent at Factory 2 U, but my feet were killing me. I ended up buying a light-brown cardigan for $10. Woo. We were having car troubles, so my aunt drove back home to see what was up and gave all of us a bathroom break. After everything was in order we went back out again to Bakersfield's "biggest mall." I laugh at that statement, but only because Ontario has a VERY big mall (that being The Ontario Mills Mall). It was alright, though. I ended up buying myself that much-needed messenger bag. It had to come from Hot Topic because I have searched everywhere for the "right one" and I had gotten impatient. I am very fucking picky. So, I got a red Dickies bag and a Juliana Theory pin. Too many little kids in there, though. The only cool things in there were their many cartoon and game shirts and the fact that they were playing APC's latest album. Sin and I wanted to stay there just to listen to the whole thing even though we own the music. As always, the mall was getting boring. I followed my aunt most of the time in there. I swear to God, so many fucking idiot-kids in there. Dammit. Damn you, George. Remember how you were telling me about how you hated phases and how you started to
hate yourself? I feel the same way. Graah.

Oh, yeah. Sin and I were standing outside a store waiting for her mother to come out when we saw a cart that made custom-made t-shirts. We went over to check it out and read some of the funny shirts in there when this big dude (who was working there) with a purple/orange/some-other-unidentified-color mohawk with glasses on came up to me and said, "Is that... is that what I think is?"

"Please tell me that's the Blue Screen of Death." I nodded in agreement as he gave me the "rock on" sign and went back to work. I wore my Blue Screen of Death shirt that day at the mall. I started to feel a little uncomfortable, so Sin and I left and went inside the store where her mother was in. After a while of being in the store (they had a lot of chess sets in there), the cashier looked at me and looked at my shirt saying, "You have on what we see everyday in our computers." It feels good to attract the right kind of people.

The day was almost over and when we got back to Grandpa's home we ate and relaxed. Oh yeah, before all of that Sin tried to contact JR and he wasn't anywhere to be found. We gave up that day. My sister bitched about wanting some Starbucks all day too, so my aunt, Sin, her little sib and I went over there to take some in by ourselves. When we got there, it was practically empty. By this hour I was ready to fall on my face and go to sleep. We waited for our drinks while Sin bitched about the two people working there. She said they were being rude, but I was too out of it to see any of it. We went back to the car and stayed in the mall parking lot hanging out. It was good to be outside at night. I was speaking with Sin when her little sister looked at me and said, "fuck you." I was like o_O. Hahahahaha. That was hilarious. She's around 3 or 4. Then, she started to honk the car and she got some teenagers about 75 feet away from us to honk back. It was funny seeing them compete with a 3/4-year-old girl.

We went back home and relaxed some more. Right before we went to bed, Sin and I decided to sleep in the same room as the kids and her mother. While waiting for everyone to settle I found this Palmistry book and we all started to look at hour hands. So, the book tells me that I am going to have a marrige but it will fail in the end. Kudos to me.

Sunday: We were going to leave early, but decided to go home much later and eat dinner. I did sleep well that night, but I still hadn't recovered from Friday, so after I ate breackfast I waited a while and went right back to sleep. That whole day I felt semi-shitty. It was hot and then cold, hot, cold. Grah. I ended up wearing half a sweater. We had some good food, played some PS2, ate ice cream and just talked. It was time to get the hell out of there, though. We all got our things packed and headed back into Los Angeles. In Bakersfield, if you live near L.A. you are automatically from L.A. Wrong.

Finally, after 2.5 hours, we made it to my aunt's home where my mother was going to pick up my sister and I. I was still a little mad at my mother for being bitchy and negletful. She seemed to be in a good mood when she arrived, though. That pissed me off even more. On our way home she actually wanted to have a conversation with me, but I'm not as open as I used to be. I just let her talk through most of the way there. Then when we got home, I realized why she was "happy." She and my stepdad are talking to each other again. My sister looked at me and said, "Okaaay." But all I can think of saying was, "I don't care."

I know I missed a lot of other stuff in there, but my IDC started to kick in a few hours ago, so I will leave it at that. Oh, check out Kaki King. I watched her in Conan this afternoon and looooooved her style. She's amazing.

Note to JR: You suck boy. ;) Don't be such a whimp and meet Sin and I soon. Oh and don't worry George, I have talked to Sin about visiting you. We shall as soon as we can. Muahahaha.

Oh yeah, before I go... I'm leaving you guys with something... nice. *evil grin*

Enjoy!

Oh yes. I found out today why my mother wanted the internet cut. She was paranoid that my sister was going to look at "the bad stuff" in there.

"Did you cancel the internet?"
"No."
"Why not?? I don't want Mari using it. We are both locked in our rooms the whole day and there she is at night using it."*
"Yes, but Mari needs it for school. To do her homework."

*mother gives me a blank stare*

"No she doesn't."
"Yes she does."
"No, she doesn't."
"Yes, she does."
"But there is BAD stuff in there!"
"I'll talk to her."
"Oh."

That's when I came up with a the very-short list of internet rules. There are many, but those four are the most important.
And I AM going to inforce them. I can be a real big bitch when it comes to that. Heartless and careless. Just like mother.

Anywho, I am going to be over at Grandpa's for the weekend, so I won't be here. Shocked? Me too. Later, kidos. :)

*My sister can't use the internet after 10 PM because I'm using it. So, Mother is bullshiting. Oh and BTW, in the fourth rule it says "Kick in the ass" not "KKK in the ass." Just wanted to get that out of the way.

I can see my mother running out on us again. She's been secluding herself for two weeks now. That's nothing new in this household. Last year, she left the house without warning. I had just recently started school at Westwood when she threw that bullshit at me and my stepdad. My sister was away on vacation and my brother was spending time with my aunt and uncle. So, I was left there with my stepdad and I continued to go to school worried that I might not be there for long. She cut the phone line and was planning on cutting everything else. Everything I needed she wanted to take away without thinking because that is her way of doing things. I mean, I know she's mad at me now because I don't clean enough. I clean, but it's not ENOUGH for her to fucking accept me as I am. And why don't I go out of my way to clean the way she does? I'm afraid. I'm afraid to do things. I feel like I need permission or order in order to do something as easy as cleaning the bathroom. Because of her I can't do anything without her telling me to. Just like Red from Shawshank Redemption after he got out of prison. Forty years I been asking permission to piss. I can't squeeze a drop without say-so. She would come around once in a while. She eventually came back after a week or so. She's so weak.

So, today, she came to me and told me to cancel the internet service. I knew that she was tired of me being on late at night. What can I do? I'm not allowed to log in during the morning without having her bite my fucking head off. So, my time is after 10 PM. It has been for three years. So yeah, I am going to cancel it and figure out how to get cable in here. I need a faster connection, anyway. Once I do, she can't say fucking jack shit to me. Nothing. After all the work I had done, all that time I had spent walking to school and trying hard to even STAY there without losing my mind; after what she saw in graduation and the awards I recieved... she still doesn't get it. If it doesn't break your back it's not real "work."

Tomorrow is another day. I really like being here in Ontario. I don't want to go.

The Smoking Gun never fails to amuse me.

"As a citizen of the United States of America, I have the right to drive on public highways..." Blah, blah, blah. For some reason, that statement right there cracked me up. Eh, must be because I am extremely tired and can't sleep. :l

Ugh... I pulled another all-nighter. :( I tried to go to sleep, but I didn't manage. So, here I am in front of my computer... watching Full House. :l

I hope to get sleepy as soon as possible. Bah, I should be doing some work with Photoshop so that I would have some good examples to show if I ever do go on a job hunt. NOTHING comes to mind, though. One project is on hold because my scanner is missing it's USB cord (Sin has it). I tried to do a coloring project, but I might have to start over since it's not coming out the way I wanted it to. Meh, I need ideas and I am too lazy to look for them. I need a purpose when doing these projects. As much as I hate to say it... I'm not having as much fun as I used to when I started using Photoshop. Feh.

I decided to start an account to get my cam going. Erm... it's down in my "About Her" column, but it's only there for about a month or so. Har.

It's nine past 2 AM and my stepdad just came home. He started making a lot of noise in his room and that always makes me nervous. Then, that's when I heard the music booming. He is asking for it because he and Mother are in some "fight" crap. So, right now she's been sleeping in my grandmother's room which is right next to the living room... where my stepdad is playing his shitty Mexican music. I'm already getting anxiety and waiting for the screaming to start.

What a drunk asshole.

Well, he has been gone for almost two months and I really don't know what to think anymore. I can't keep spending every night wondering and worrying about what might have happened to Kolin. It hurts too much. I'm thinking if he ever comes around, I will have to let him go. Long distance relationships hardly ever work and like I told him from the beginning... I am not stable enough. I can't handle this. It sucks.

Finally.


Yes, I KNOW I misspelled "oppressor." Shoot me for being fucking brain fried. Bah! *frown*

Took me long enough to actually sit down and type this all out. Grah.

I set my alarm clock at 11 AM and when it went off, I stayed in bed for 30 minutes before I decided to get up and get ready. I needed enough time to get my hair completely dried. I didn't even bother to bush it. I just threw a bunch of gel on my mop top. My mother wanted me to wear this white blouse for graduation and I did consider it, but I was not feeling comfortable in it. So, I raided her room and tried on some of her attire. My mother is smaller than I am. Her clothes still fit me, but they don't look as great, I guess. Anyway, I tried on a few tops, but none of them felt comfortable. One of them looked like a Halloween costume and the other made my bra too damn visible. While one of them made my boobs pop out waaaay too damn much. I never realized how much boob I had on me. So, I put the tops away and ran into my closet and took out my pink-and-black-striped blouse. I put on my black dickies and my pink and black shoes. I was set. I ate some soup and watched TV until it was time to head over to the auditorium where I was to graduate. I told my sister where the tickets were and where the graduation was going to be held. I grabbed my Altoids and my Alpha Beta Kappa pin and headed out the door.

I didn't have to walk far because of all the places in the city, I was to graduate in the same high school I graduated from in 2001. Good ol' GWS Auditorium. On my way there, my mother had just come out of work and pulled over to ask me where it was and what time she was supposed to be there. I told her that my sister knew where it was going to be held, to be there by 7 PM, and that the tickets were near the phone. After our chat, she went on home and I contiuned my walk towards the auditorium. We weren't told where to meet exacly, so I went inside through the front. When I got there, I saw two males posting a "Westwood Graduation" poster on one of the columns of the auditorium. I went all the way down towards the stage. I met with one of the instructors and I was directed to the back of the stage.
That's when I saw a few people in the school's drama room getting ready. I hesitated for a second, but I went into the room hoping to see someone I knew. I saw one of my former peers, Veronica. She's cool, but we hardly spoke to each other. She's always been the quiet type around most people. We talked for a while until I was interrupted by Mr. Tapia. He made me sign a few things and was super excited about the ideas that we had discussed in our former meetings. Too excited, to tell you the truth. While I was filling out my information I was interrupted by another former peer, Ashley. She was supposed to be in my flash class, but left the last four weeks of it. I was very surprised to see her there. She talked MY head off while I was finishing up with inputting my info. After I was done, I went over to another person to get my cap and gown. I signed a paper and grabbed my stuff. There were three programs in Westwood. Networking, CAD, and Graphic Design. Networking graduates had an orange sash with green lettering, CAD had a brown sash with white lettering, and we (Graphic Designers) had a white sash with green lettering. Har har. I got myself ready and went outside. Ashley wanted to get her picture taken so I waited for her while she got that done. It was quite hilarious. She has spent a good amount of time trying to fix her cap the way she wanted it and the lady who was taking the picture just yanked it out. There was a long argument and in the end the lady got her way. That pissed her off some. While they were bickering my friend, Iesha, came into the auditorium. After a quick chat, I directed her to the back of the stage to get her stuff and sign some of her info in. I walked back into the dressing room to fix my cap when Jamie, one of the officials, grabbed me and told me that I was going to get a "cord" during graduation for my academic honor. After everyone was there all the graduates went outside to take our class picture. We had to stand from tallest to smallest. Yeah, I was in the short-people row. We got to sit down, though. :D We had our pictures taken and asked a few questions for the school newspaper which a LOT of the graduates didn't know there even was one. They should have read the boards more often. Anyway, after that we went inside the auditorium once again to answer the last of the newspaper's questions and then practiced for our graduation. It was HOT under those lights as we sat down on the stage. I was told during our practice that our class were the biggest to graduate, yet. There must have been around forty-five of us in there, more or less. After our practice we all when out to eat some Subway. I have never had any until that moment and when I tasted some and I didn't like it. No sir, I didn't. I don't know what the whole big deal is. Anyway, Iesha, Martin (another graduate), and I went over with Iesha's family and we all hanged around there while we waited to get ready. I spoke mostly with Martin since we hardly ever did during our year at Westwood. Out of all the people that started at the same time we did, we three were the only ones that were graduating. The others left under bad circumstances. So, we did it.

We finished our shitty subs and walked back into the auditorium. We waited there for a while until it was time to get ready. So, it was time for us to walk down towards the stage. Networkers first, then CADs, and then Graphic Designers. All in alphabetical order and guess who was first in my class. Yep. I was a bit nervous, but kept a smile. I didn't even bother to look for my family because I was too busy concentrating on NOT FALLING. I made it well onto the stage, though. We sat there for two hours. They first gave the Academic Honor awards. I got up there to recieve my award and my cord thing. Shake hands with the school's director. And then I got up there again to recieve my Academic Achievement Award. I heard my sister yell out my name as I walked up there to get my plaque and took another picture. Then, it was time for many, MANY speeches. Especially our TWO Valedictorians. Meh. It was hot as hell in there too. I was shaking from being nervous, too and Iesha wouldn't shut up about wanting to get out of there. I didn't blame her. I kept cracking jokes while the speeches were being made. Not to be rude, but that is what I do when I am nervous. Iesha kept having to pretend to cough because I was making her laugh too much. So, it was time to get our diplomas. We all went in order and when it was the Graphic Designers turn, I had to lead them down at the front of the stage. I had put down my awards on my seat along with my name card. We were given cards when we grabbed our attire to give to Jamie when it was our turn to get our diploma. Of course, being me, I forgot my card and I mouthed at her, "I forgot my card," but she told me it was okay and went ahead and said my name anyway. I was lucky enough that she knew me. So, I was the only one who got to keep that card. Woo-hah. Right. We all sat back down, officials spoke some more, and then we were asked to stand up again to move our tassles from our right to our left. Woo, we graduated. We then followed the instructors and such outside were I waited for our families. I took off my cap and let my shag (hair) breathe. I shook my head to let it all fly out and I just now realized WHY my fucking neck has been aching all day. My family came around for hugs and gave me my balloons and card. Sinthya gave me the card and an OWL. That's right, kids.. an OWL! I was like, "Whoa!" Sin tells me it was my own Hedwig and I was very stoked. I was excited about it. After pictures, I had to go back inside to find any school official because I had to return my gown back. Yeah, we got to keep everything but our gown. Thank God, because I already have the one I used for my high school graduation. I said some goodbyes and we went to our favorite seafood restaurant. It was close to nine so the place was closed. I suggested some pastrami and so we went up to Upland to go to my favorite place, The Hat. It rocks. We had lots of pastrami and fries, AND chili cheese fries (thanks to Sin). :D My mother kept taking pictures, which I will scan those and post later. We were stuffed and tired so we went home after our meal. Sin left as soon as we arrived because it was late and her little sister (who came with her) had to go to school the next morning. We said our goodbyes and I went online.

Arr. Yes. It was an alright day. :)

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Just a few minutes ago as I was writing this, my mother comes up to me and asked me to do "something" with her. After I asked her what it was she explained to me that she was going to go outside in our backyard, lay on the ground for 15 minutes with candles beside her. I asked her for what and she explained that it was for good luck. Good luck with money. I laughed at the idea and I wasn't planning on doing it, but I decided to go ahead and go outside at the last mintue. I didn't take it as seriously as my mother, but it was neat. Last time I was outside at night was when Sin came around while my family was away on vacation. We spoke for a while, laughed, howled like wolves. We also had to drape any gold material on us. Eh, yeah. After the fifteen minutes were done, we had to drink some.. liquid my mother made. She took a sip first and then gave me the bowl next. I looked down at it and saw some flower petals. I shruged and took a sip. It tasted like ewww. I asked her what was in it as I passed it to my sister and my mother started laughing saying it was "vino."

"You mean tequila?"
"Yeah. Tequila, vanilla, flower petals..."

After that I didn't pay attention to the rest and stared at my sister while she drank it. Then, it was time to pick up so she blew out all the candles but one. I got wax on my hand and sweats. Heh.

I am tired. :l

I just got back from me graduation thing, but since I am fucking tired, I will post more details about it tomorrow. I am too pooped. I will also post some pictures of the awards that I got. :D Tomorrow, for sure!

10:08 PM Update: Okay, I just remembered that Sin gave me a card and when I opened it I saw a bill I was chanting to myself, "Please it it be a five, please, please!" And well... it wasn't. Damn you SIN. BUT THANKS! I NEEDED THE MONEY. :l My grandmother was right. I had given my grandmother some money for her trip to Mexico since no one was at home. I gave her all I had and since she is Mexican, she was telling me how God will bless me and that I would get my money back times two. Blah, blah. Well... I got it today times five. :D Thaaaaaaaanks SIN!. The card and the owl were great too. More on that tomorrow.

I graduate in a few hours. And this GODDAMNED FLY WON'T GET OUT OF MY SCREEN! ATTAAAACK!

Anyway, I am still unsure who is going. So far, My mother, sister and Sin. My brother wants to come to, only he wants to bring in his ex-grilfriend. Don't ask why. I hope to do something tomorrow, too. Eh, I have a lot to say, but I am not wanting to say any of it, so...

Family Guy rocks and those who never watched it can SUCK my GIRL dick.

Well, today is the last day of school for me and I am still in here. I just got out of my portfolio teacher's office and my final grade was a B. Just barely. Eh.

Also, I am really shitty. I went in the financial aid office to turn in an application for a loan and as soon as I get there I am told that it was denied. Of course it confused the shit out of me because HOW can something be denied if you haven't turned it in yet. Before I did try and turn it in, as my mother was signing it, a question came to me... "Hasn't she signed this before?" And she had, because the fancial lady showed it to me. So, WHY the FUCK did she make me do it again this Wednesday if she already had one? And WHY didn't she tell me that it was denied. So, now I owe a balance of 2,300+. And being who I am, I am not going to do a damn thing about it. As I got out of there all I kept thinking about is seeing my mother's raging face and everyone's dissapointment and what I was going to do when I got home. Yeah, I am planning on punishment, but maybe the walk home will get me to change my mind. Even last night, as I was trying to go to sleep, my brain was throbbing, but I felt no pain.

I can't take it anymore and it's almost over.

Dyed my hair today.



"Brown Mahogany" Riiiiight.

My mind is going 100 miles per hour right now. I have been so busy with school that I haven't been doing my usuals. Reading my webcomics, watching TV, listening to the radio, and posting in here. Well, I stopped watching TV months ago.

First off, the weather. It rained today! Hell-the-FUCK YEAH! I wore three layers of cloathing today and my own-made gloves. I walked in a possitive manner on my way to school, too. I was happy that Autumn has finally come. It''s bliss. I've been wearing a sweater all summer, but I am now enjoying doing so even more.

I've been spending at least six hours in school for the past three weeks. I only have to be there for three. I've been working on my portfolio and flash projects, but since the fucking internet is being a bitch at school I can't get my work done. Speaking of internet problems, it turns out that the reason the school's internet has been really shitty and out for a couple of weeks was because of the games that were being played in school. The games take out a chunk of the network and well, it sucks for us designers, but the people who are studying Netwroking can't do shit-nothing. They were suffering even more. My flash instructor told us this Monday that there was a new ZERO tolerance on game playing at school. You can't even play Solitare if you're using a PC. If you get caught the first time, you get a warning from your instructor, the second time you get a warning from your program's director. The third, you will get a three-day suspension. Oh yes. Ooor... if you get caught playing a game from the two head directors it's an automatic suspension. Yeah, games are fun, but work MUST get done. My class has four females and the rest are males. So, most of the males would sit there playing Quake while the rest tried to do their work. It was hard with all the "Imma get you bitch!," "Ohhh, Lord Mobious got fragged! HAHAHAHA!" and the "Oooooh, you BITCH!" -_- It was a pain. I will admit that I played too, but I muted my computer and played by myself. I got bored of it after a few games. So, if I get everything done on time I will get to graduate on Thursday. :l Fact: Lord Mobious was my flash instructor.

Okay, now... last week my father came over my home asking for a dictionary and we got talking about computers again when he showed me a flier about a computer that was on sale. It was an AMD "featuring an AMD Athlon™ XP 2400+ processor including a 17" LCD monitor." It has 512MB memory, 80GB Hard Drive, DVD-R-W/CD-RW Multi Drive. So, to me this all blah, blah, blah. Except for the 512MB of RAM and 80GB of Hard Drive. I quickly told my father that this computer would be okay and as soon as I did he looks at me and says, "Awww, but you said you wanted an HP." And I did. A long while before, my father told me that since I was having a hard time choosing a computer he was going to choose one for me. So, I told him to at least get me an HP Pavillion. And that's when he opened the back of his sports car and showed me the computer. I was very surprised. Simple. He kept rambling about what the guy from the store had said and what it's capabilities were. So, he started to hand me the parts and I took them into my room.

HP Pavillion f50 flatscreen
2.4GHz
256MB of RAM
60GBs of Hard Drive
CD-RW and DVD-ROM

Then he showed me another flier it was a DVD-RW. He told me that he would get me that later and more memory. Well, he's planning on it. And so yes... Tristan has been replaced. It's now Harry. It was going well when I was setting it up and when I turned it on the log in requested a password. I sat there looking at the name "Owner" and saying "Shit." So, I gave it a go for a few minutes before I decided to call my father and ask him if the sales person had given him any password when he bought the computer. Of course, he said no and told me that we would go to the store the next day. Eh, yeah. I got my password and started messing around with my computer. The first thing I did was try and install my internet service, but it was rejecting it. Mmmhmm. I called Dad again and he planned to go back to the store and explain my problem. So, I had to wait. Sinthya came over my home this Wednesday and thank GOD she did because she fucking rocks when it comes to troubleshooting. I so suck at that. She went into her AOL account and DLed my internet service off the net. The reason why my CD didn't work was because it was a supper old version. Bah. Whatever. I called Dad and told him that my internet was working and that so far everything was in place. I'm planning to get cable soon, though. Soon. *sigh*

Oh yeah... I really don't like Windows XP at ALL right now. I'll get used to it, though.

First of October. I can already smell my sister's Halloween candy. *grin*

Last year, the cold wind started to come around late September. It it now the first and it is STILL hot. God. Yay, for October, though! I looove how everyone in Ontario has their orange pumpkins out in their front porch (real ones, BTW) and the leaves are turning yellow. Glee. :D