Hey, look! I can steal too!

The Seven Deadly Sins:

ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? Um. David.
2. What is your weapon of choice? Self-infliction.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? It depends. I haven't had the reason to do so. I've hit Julian and that's about it.
4. How about of the same sex? Depends.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Really angry? *shrugs*
6. What is your pet peeve? Invasion of my privacy.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I tend to let them go. Otherwise...

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you’re supposed to do daily that you haven’t done in a long time? There's nothing.
2. What is the latest you’ve ever woken up? Ever? I've slept 13 hours before. But, maybe 5 PM.
3. Name a person you’ve been meaning to contact, but haven’t? There's no one. I either do or don't.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? *shrugs*
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? Ah yeah. Especially when I was younger. I used to stay up late a lot. I'd watch the long ones and more than three times.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? I don't do that.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I didn't SET it today.

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Um. Bottled water? I don't care.
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? RED MEAT. Nah, I like white meat better. Chiiiiiicken. Mmm.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you’ve had in one sitting/outing/event? I don't remember.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Diets blow.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Very much so, but I don't do anything about it.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? All. But, I don't like very spicy, hot foods. Burny tongues suck.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"? Yes. Puppies have nice "thighs."

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? Full on naked? I'd rather not say.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? No one. EVER. NEVER!
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? I've caught THEM looking at MY chest. I don't do that stuff. Always directly at the eyes.
4. Have you "done it"? Do the dew. No, I have not done "IT." People keep telling me to stay away from doing "it."
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? You know what I love? The way Kolin's cheeks form when he smiles. That's what I love. Anyway, body parts: neck and arms.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Right.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? Pregnancy, yes. Heh. Fucking retards.

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? None. I don't need that shit.
2. What’s your guilty pleasure store? Dollar stores/thrift stores.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? First, pay off my debt, then steal Kolin and buy a house. Tabby can come too. She rocks.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Eh, rich. I don't like that kind of attention.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? I probably would for a while.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Um. Yeah.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? A lot. Most are not mine. Julian.

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you’re most proud of? I've bettered myself emotionally.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Dad: stayed away from trouble. Mom: nothing.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? I want to do two things: Take care of Mari and be around for Kolin.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? No. I don't care.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? No.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Uh. Tests?
7. What did you do today that you’re proud of? I spent quality time with Mari. It's more than what my parents do for her.

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? I have what I need.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Don't TOUCH my room. Bitch.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? Myself, but better.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Um. Whatever.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? From someone else? Yeah.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? I pass.
7. Do you wish you’d come up with this survey? No.
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? I used to have a list of the seven deadly sins on my wall. I had a check next to gluttony and sloth.

The Seven Heavenly Virtues
FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? None.
2. What religion were you raised as? Catholic.
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? Should be human.
4. Do you believe in magic? Magick. :D No.
5. What was the last promise you broke? I wouldn't know.
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? Nah.
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? Not just anyone. Nope. Perfection is dangerous.

HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? The things I want not anyone can give.
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? Those are my own to know.
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? Sometimes.
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? Nah. My mom made me buy the kind you scratch when I turned 18, though. What a shitty way to waste a dollar.
6. Do you gamble? I hate it.
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway? Don't know.

CHARITY
1. What causes do you support? Sigh. I can't even support myself.
2. What causes have you given money or time to? A thing. Or two.
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? Um. Yeah.
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, etc.,? Don't think so.
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? If they ask and I have it, I give it.
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? Nope. At least I don't think so.
7. What’s the greatest extent you’ve gone to help a friend in need? Nothing that I know of. My friends never really asked for help. Well, once. It never happened, though. She got better help. But, I am willing to do almost anything for someone. As long as they ask.

FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of? I'm afraid of losing Kolin physically, mentally, and emotionally. Everything else is not so bad compared to that.
2. What did you do today that was really brave? I don't do that stuff.
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why? My dad is my hero. He didn't abandon us. He's been there more than my mother has and she lives with us.
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? I probably would.
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? Courage.
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? Once you're out there, the fear goes away.
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? It depends.

JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? Yes.
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it? Why would I get into that?
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? I really don't like it, but... whatever.
4. Which should be guaranteed legal: *shrugs*
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? I'm sick of this.
6. What was your favorite media circus trial? *sleeps*
7. Have you ever written a letter to a politician? I'd rather write to the Lizard Man. He's way more interesting than any politician.

TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? My pseudo-ADD.
2. Do you collect anything? Junk.
3. Are you addicted to anything? Things here and there. Some are good (Kolin's voice) and some are bad (stuff).
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? Not by choice.
5. What’s your preferred method of paying for things? Cash. Debit is good, too. Credit cards blow.
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn’t let yourself do: Hmm. Nothing.
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? Sometimes.

PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know? My dad at times.
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
3. Do you take advice when it’s given? Rarely.
4. What area are you wisest in? Um. Bah. I don't know. Maybe expanding people's minds. No.
5. Do you drive defensively? I don't drive at all.
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? Would you ever? No. Yes.
7. What did you learn today? I learned... nothing. What a waste.
8. And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue? Eh. I'm done here.

Fuck. I want to do a million things at once. This sucks. My mother is still mad at David. I hope that's over with soon. I don't blame her. Mari found her library card so I made her go to the library with me. I've been wanting to check out The Perks of Being a Wallflower for a year now. I got that, Gingerbread, and Catcher in the Rye. I need to re-re-read Catched in the Rye. I wonder how I'll take it in this time. My dad called me on the way to the library and he opted to pick Mari and I up. We left sooner than expected so I called Dad to tell him not to come over the library, but to just go straight to our home. He agreed. Three minutes later he called back asking me where we were and he said to stay there. Mari and I waiting infront of this Mexican seafood restaurant. I love their rice. We waited. We read. I sang. Mari was annoyed. She tried so hard to get me to stop. She failed. We kept a look out for Dad's little red car. We saw nothing. Out of nowhere we saw this white car and I looked in. It was Dad. I thought, "What the fuck?" I went in and the first thing I asked was, "New car?" It's a niiiiiiice car for $2,000. Cash. It was clean, new. Great. So, I assumed my dad gave his other grey car to Julian.

Sleepy. I've been getting numbing pains again. Not only have the ones from my head have moved from my right side to my left, but I've been getting them on my body too. They are so strange. I don't like it when I get them on my body (mostly my right arm). They stop me from doing anything and make my heart beat a bit too fast. It can't be good.

Bored? Go here. I do.

odio adorarle: so, how's kolin now that he's there and all? =P
odio adorarle: "Kolin's here!"
I am Oxie Moron: LOL
I am Oxie Moron: He can't stop touching me.
I am Oxie Moron: If it were someone else, I'd be bitching about it.
I am Oxie Moron: Pleh. I wish.
odio adorarle: lol

I really need to change that. Damn you all. It was an ESTIMATE. Not the exact date.

Waiting for the rain to stop...

You scored as Age 13-19 years. Yeah, you're cool! Live life like you'll be 18 forever! WHOOP! Age 13-19 years 70% 20-35 55% Age 36-70 years 35% Age 0-12 years 30% Age 71+ years 5% How old is your SOUL? created with QuizFarm.com

13 Random things you like
1. Cute dead things
2. Alternative hair
3. Water
4. Fruity smells
5. Sunflowers
6. MILK CHOCOLATE!
7. Being in love
8. Toys
9. Weirdness
10. Intelligence
11. MUSIC
12. Creativity
13. Kolin's voice

12 Favorite movies
1. Harry Potter series
2. Nightmare Before Christmas
3. American Beauty
4. Benny & Joon
5. A Bronx Tale
6. Killer Klowns From Outer Space
7. South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
8. Girl, Interrupted
9. The Craft
10. Edward Scissorhands
11. Saved!
12. The upcoming, straight-to-DVD Family Guy movie :D

11 Good bands/Artists
1. Dead Poetic
2. Mae
3. A Perfect Circle
4. Loreena McKennitt
5. Otep
6. Anberlin
7. Coheed and Cambria
8. They Might Be Giants
9. The Juliana Theory
10. Alice in Chains
11. John Mayer

10 Things about me physically
1. I have black hair with two red curls.
2. I have shitty-colored brown eyes.
3. I am, uh... "thick." To be nice about it.
4. I have a burn scar on my back.
5. I have scars all over my body. Here and there.
6. I have the wrong skin color.
7. I am semi-allergic to the sun, sweat, and nervousness.
8. Is this stuff physical? Hmm.
9. I have a big ass. :l
10. Huh. I dunno. My eyebrows aren't even.

9 Good friends
1. Colette
1. Jen
1. Nanj
1. Cole
1. Amanda
1. Behr
1. Kolin
1. Sin
1. Mari

8 Favorite foods/drinks
1. CHOOOOOOCOLATE!!!
2. Agua
3. Liquor
4. Mints
5. Pickles
6. Cup Noodles
7. Asian pears
8. Caramel Frapp.

7 Favorite songs
1. Glass in the Trees - Dead Poetic
2. Not Ready Yet - Eels
3. Sacrilege - Otep
4. Sun - Mae
5. Ready Fuels - Anberlin
6. Into the Dark - The Juliana Theory
7. I Play Dead - Demon Hunter

6 Things that annoy you
1. Loud people
2. David's drunkenness
3. People in general
4. Invasion of my personal space
5. Hang ups
6. Adults acting like children

5 Things you touch everyday
1. My keyboard
2. My face
3. My hair
4. My accessories
5. Myself

4 Shows you watch
1. Family Guy
2. Super Milk-chan
3. The Gilmore Girls
4. Crafters: Coast to Coast

3 People you have a crush on
1. Kolin
2. Open wounds
3. Blood. "People." Right.

2 Things you love
1. Kolin
2. Kolin's smile

1 Thing you hate
1. Eh.

------

Firsts
First job: Borders Groups, Inc. I did many things there.
First screen name: Beefcakechick. South Park RULES.
First funeral: My uncle's. It felt like a "SURPRISE! HE'S DEAD!" smack to the face. I was only 10.
First pet: I only remember our tail-less cat, Charlie.
First piercing: Ears at 15 days old. I didn't look like a girl, so they threw in the gun.
First tattoo: None yet.
First credit card: HA! Yeah right.
First kiss: Bah. Shut up.
First enemy: Humans.
First favorite musician: I wouldn't know.

Lasts
Last car ride: Tonight. After work.
Last kiss: Uhhh... my hand. It was hawt.
Last movie watched: I dunno. In a theater?
Last beverage drank: Water.
Last food consumed: Pastrami
Last phone call: Kolin
Last time showered: This morning
Last CD played: New Medicines - Dead Poetic
Last website visited: http://tenebrousinsanity.blogspot.com

Now
Single or Taken: TAKEN! WOO!
Sex: When?
Birthday: April 20th.
Sign: Aries/Taurus
Siblings: Julian and Mari. Only the ones that count.
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Drk Brown
Shoe size: 8.5/9
Height: 5'5"

Yeah. Anyway. I really want to see this new show that's due to premiere on the 20th of February on Adult Swim. ROBOT CHICKEN. It looks awesome. Looks like Seth Green is behind this one. It's 1:34 AM. Milk-chan sucked AGAIN this week? So, is that it? Is Milk dead? God, I was enjoying it, too. Ah well.

"Welcome to Yack in the Box. Can I hel you? " Sheese. Fren fry. Hahaha. GOTTA LOVE CC.

SONAVABICH! Yeah. Sleep.

Check, check. One, two.

I love you.

Long day.

Hmm. I woke up with an open safety pin in my hair.

Waiting. My brother called me last night. I told him that I was going to wake up extra early tomorrow (today) so I could go to the store and buy a money order. Right now is the only time that I will have to buy and send my payment. He wants to go to since he has a payment due on the same day as me. And then he wants to wash his and his friend's clothes. Right.

Adrian, the busboy, isn't coming this morning. That means that I get to open. I get to be the busboy and hostess. Fun. Oh well. I need money. Tips are good. I have to stay there all day, though. There's a party of 50 (small-ass party), but my boss mentioned that they wanted to stay there until midnight. We'll see how long they really last. I hope there aren't too many kids. I don't want to "babysit" again.

Ah well. Make up time.

And the glassss in the treeeeees...

And all you left heeeeeere, re-flects every-thiiiiiiiiiing that I missssed.

Sigh. I want to see Dead Poetic. I need to lash out.

*Deleted*

Yeah. Lame.

5:49 AM

Who cares what it says down there. It's THAT time UP there.

It's Jen and Nanj's fault. Camming is fun, though.



Waaa waa waaaaaa. :P

:x says:
Something with tuna.
:x says:
Mmmmm.
OxieContin™ says:
Tunnnaaa?
OxieContin™ says:
we don't eat that here lol
:x says:
In your house, or in Ontario?
OxieContin™ says:
House lol
:x says:
You're missing out
:x says:
But, I like fish
OxieContin™ says:
lol
OxieContin™ says:
FISH.
OxieContin™ says:
Fish smell?
:x says:
Ha.
:x says:
I don't mind it
OxieContin™ says:
lol
OxieContin™ says:
LOL
:x says:
Wait, you were implying SOMETHING ELSE
OxieContin™ says:
LOL
:x says:
Fishy smell = infection
:x says:
=OxieContin™ says:
lol
OxieContin™ says:
You said it.
OxieContin™ says:
Not me

Woot.

Roses are FF0000 at ThinkGeek

Is that a great subject title or what? I forgot I was in their mailer list. They have a bunch of cool crap at Thinkgeek.com right now. The Geek Poem is awesome, too. Awesome.

For those of you who don't care to click, the poem says:

Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you

Awwwwwwwwww. It's adorable.

Hmm. So, I went to bed at a little after 9:30 and I woke up at one because of my little bro. He wanted to know "what was up." Heh. "Hey. Oh. Did I wake you up? I'm sorry." He always says that when he really does wake me up. Sigh. I feel bad for him for getting into big piles of shit. My mother semi-ranted at me about him this evening. I defended him for a few minutes. I wanted to get a few things straight. But after a while, I thought, "Bah, I don't live there. Not my problem." My sister and I traded hoodies. They are both mediums, but for some reason hers was smaller and I wanted it.

1:30. I wonder how long before I fall back into bed.

So, back to my Self being restless. It's still there. My heart tends to beat too fast at times. Anxiety attack? At times. Head and bodyaches. But mostly I feel like I haven't been getting any sleep (which is a damn lie). I find myself sitting in front/on something and not realizing it until minutes later. And as soon as I come out of that zone, mere seconds out of it, I fall back into it. Without realizing it.

JUST AS NOW! 1:47. Woo. I forgot I had this going. And again. I need to leave my room more often. It's suffocating me. So, tomorrow, I am making it a goal to spend time in the living room. As soon as David leaves for work.

Rain. Rain. Rain.

Ontario is so beautiful, yet those bastards are killing the trees. Pleh.

I can't.

I want to go to sleep so badly. I tried three hours ago. I've been falling sleeping as late as 4 AM. I'm just overly restless. I can't stop drawing her, either. I don't even know how many times I have drawn the same face. I could count them. Hmm. Nah. Not that much. Twenty-five. Oh. Nevermind. It's thirty. Whatever.

My sister and I went to the 99 cent store this evening. We needed hair products. We mostly goofed off while Mom was at night school. That's right, kids... MY mom is taking night school with the rest of the non-english speaking Mexicans and etc. She got her citizenship back in '98, but she was never confident about her ability to speak English. To speak English well. She can understand at times and such, but... she wants to better herself. That rocks. Anyway, as I was saying, Mari and I goofed off. I somehow ended up tripping myself and falling on my knee. I was trying to stretch my leg while holding the bottom of my foot. Or something. I dunno. If any of you ever get to hang out with my sister and I, you would get to experience and witness how our weirdness combines so well. It's mostly Spongebob quotings and barking. Her barking tends to get on my nerves, though. Especially when it causes OTHER doggies to bark back. Gah. Arf.

So, yeah. I should try sleeping. Nanjor is talking to me via Crappy College right now. CAD! If I remember correctly. AHHHHHHHHH! I can't stop listening to this song. I can't, I can't, I CAN'T!

BLEEDING! I'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY TO STOP BEFORE IT STARTS!!!!!

Jeeeeeeze. Bed. But first, I have to find a way to annoy Nanji.

I hate painting >;( says:
Am I annoying you ;D
OxieContin™ says:
lol NOOOOO. <_<
I hate painting >;( says:
You could be like OMG NANJ FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALOOOONE.
OxieContin™ says:
LIKE OMG!!!!!!!!!! NANJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!
OxieContin™ says:
Whoa.
OxieContin™ says:
That- yeah.
I hate painting >;( says:
Hehehe.
OxieContin™ says:
ME SO- Wait. can I be vulgar?
I hate painting >;( says:
Never.
OxieContin™ says:
:O Well, why the hell NOT?
I hate painting >;( says:
Only when you're in habbomoronbashingmode

Okay. NOW. BED. DAMMIT, CRISTAL! FUCK OFF!

Heh. That reminds me. While going to the store, some damn idiot kept honking. It was one of those, "HURRY UP, I'm late for my pedicure!" type of honking. BEEEEEEP! BEEP-BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!! I finally burst and said, "AH, cut it out, ya FUCK!" I apologize to all the kids who had the misfortune of hearing my potty mouth.

Go ahead.

Alcohol. I breathed in his dead cells. Of lost hope his breath smells.

There you are again.
Sitting alone in this room... again.
I love you for putting up with him,
But I hate you for the situation that we're in.

I can't bare to look at your face,
That's burdened with shame and filled with disgrace.
Why can't you see what he's doing to you?
WHY CAN'T YOU GET UP AND GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Don't LET him destroy you!
Don't LET him control you!
Don't let him take over,
And eat you AWAY!

You CAN be above this,
You CAN reach untouched bliss,
Don't LET him berate you,
And kill you AGAIN!

So, stay for a while and avoid your denial,
And don't pretend that everything's okay.
How can you live like this?
How can you say life's shit?
Don't give into his ways.
Don't throw it away.

You fought me once but not again,

You let me feel your heavy hand...

I remember the last time my mother hit me. Or punched me out. Whatever. So. Weekend wasn't great. David was drunk Friday. And Saturday. Sunday blew. I remember coming out of the restaurant and pleading with God that we'd make it home. That was Saturday. I worked all day. 11 AM -10 PM. But it's much longer in restaurant time. Three hours can seem like six. But I got an hour break. That's good enough. I mostly watched Fuse in the bar while listening to Otep. Martin came up to me while I was re-applying make up. "You don't need that. You're already beautiful." To which I said, "Oh please." Then he mocks me. "Oh Please. You know you're beautiful..." Blah, blah. If I weren't so naive, I'd think he was flirting with me. His eyes wander from my face to my chest when I start speaking, too. He asked me if I were still with Kolin in that "Oh please be single" sort of way. "But you're not still with him, right?" Ha. Right. He's 40. He has a "daughter" that's 18 with a 3-month-old baby. He's a drunk. I'm taken. End. WOO. I love how they try to convince me that it's OKAY to be with two+ people at the same time. I just don't play that bullshit. And what's sad is that I know for a fact that if I were with Kolin and some random jerk they would be more accepting towards me having that kind of relationship than just being in a long-distance relationship with ONE person. Whatever. As much as they look down on me because of that, I cold give a flying fuck about what they think.

Eh. Already past 3 AM. I had a good breakdown this evening, too. It was about fucking time. I couldn't hold it much longer. After that, I took a sweet nap. I fell asleep smiling.

I saw an old teacher of mine Saturday night. I was taking care of a customer (to go order), when I saw her and a gentleman walk towards the front desk. I looked up and automatically smiled, but since I was busy I couldn't say anything or seat them. I was bummed out, but I knew I'd get a chance to say hello. I mention this to David and a few minutes later he comes back to me. "I told that lady about you and she said that she wants to meet you." Ahhhhhhh. Okay, so after I was doing with a few things I quickly went up to her table and we chatted away. Last time I saw her was probably back in 2002 when I had just started school. She was on one of her morning walks and I was on my way to school. SHE REMEMBERED THAT. She remembers everything. She knows more about me than most people I know. All those papers and essays I wrote in her class were on a personal level one way or another. I remember the big Senior project. It was an "I-search" project. We actually got to pick a topic that we knew nothing about and research about it. I decided to research on self-mutilation. Yeah. I cheated a bit, but I opened up a great deal in that essay. I really got into it by reading everything and anything from books to sites. I was the only one in that class who got an A. Everyone else was angry at her because "she didn't teach the class right" or some other whiny reason why they couldn't understand what they were doing. I never got them. I used to spend my lunch time with her and we'd talk about her trips to Europe. I liked her regardless of what everyone else thought of her. And so she told me what she's been up to since I graduated. She's close to retirement, which must be great because she gets to travel with her husband. He's in an Italian choir. I didn't get to talk to her long. We had awkward moments when we'd both run out of things to say. I hate that awkward silence.

AH. Milk-chan is on. I didn't get to watch it the first time around. I was too busy trying to make Jen laugh. SEX, SEX, SEX!!! :)

Ah. I feel like shit. Bed.

I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU, KOLIN!

What the fuck is going on?

I'm not even 10 minutes at work when I got a call from my uncle. Missed call. I thought, "God. He probably wants to bitch about Julian too." So, I ignored it. A few minutes later I missed yet another call from my aunt's home. I thought, "Eh. Fuck it." I called back. It was my brother. I tell him that my uncle tried to call me, but I missed the call. Then he tells me that he got in a car accident. Fucking hell. THEN, he tells me that as soon as he gets home my uncle starts screaming at him because of the note. Julian tells him to chill out, tells me he was in an accident, and then he tells me that he got kicked out of the house. Fucking hellx2. But this is what I've been told. Who the fuck knows what's going on over there. 30 minutes later, my uncle called me. I ignored the call. My boss was around. Then he calls me a third time. Bah. THEN I get a voice mail. Don't know who it was from though since I don't check those. So, after I got off work, I get another call. It's Private. I called Julian and it wasn't him, so I called my dad. It wasn't him either. Oh well. I ranted to my dad about what's been going on. I am beyond angry at this point.

SO, I get home and my mom's car isn't there, but the lights and TV in the living room are on. Mari was watching TV and I asked her where Mom was. She thought she was sleeping in her room. I checked, she wasn't there. I forgot to mention that I decided to call my aunt and/or uncle to find out what they wanted from me. They didn't answer so, fuck it. I get home, chill for a while before I get a call from my aunt. She asked me what I wanted and I told her that my uncle's been trying to get a hold of me. Blah, blah, blah. She tells me that Mom is over her house. What the fuck? I also got another call from Julian telling me that his friends took him out. So... I don't know. And David went back to work to drink. That fuck. Now my mom's going to bitch about it tomorrow.

For what reason my mom is over at my aunt's is beyond me. IT could be that my aunt told my mother what has been going on and my mother went over there to yell/talk to Julian. What ever happens, I won't find out until tomorrow.

Dig that hole for me.

My aunt just called me. She yelled at me for 7 minutes. She called to ask what my brother-

Okay, I just got a call from Julian. HE wanted to know if my aunt had called me. I fucking HATE it when people put me in between their shit. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY! FUCK YOU! Always. I spent half of my life being my parent's messenger. "Cristal, tell your father..." "Cristal, ask for mother..." FUCK! Grow some fucking balls and do this shit yourselves. Grow the fuck up.

Anyway, my aunt called me to ask for my brother's new number and after that she just went off. Ranted the fuck out at me. And she made me feel like it was MY fault. I know that wasn't her intention, but I am her punching bag when it comes to Julian. It has been for a long while now. I didn't know what to say. I knew if I said anything more than "yeah" or "uh-huh" a lump would form in my throat. The thing that set her off was that Julian left her and my uncle a note. "Don't open my mail." She didn't understand why he wrote them that "ugly" note. Sigh. It hurt to hear that stuff about my brother. Yeah, he can be a little shit, but fuck... why me? She was also angry because he didn't greet them when he entered a room. Well, shit. It's not his fault, really. That's how we are here. That's how my mother raised us. "I don't care what you guys do with your mother. Whether you guys greet each other or not, that's your problem, but in this house..." Why did she tell me all of this shit. Then she put me on the spot. "Tell me, Cristal. Tell me what should I do. Tell me." She asked me that over and over. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!!!! I told her I didn't know and she still kept asking.

Not soon after my brother called. He asked me why my aunt called. I didn't want to say. "Look, whatever shit you guys are in, it's betwe-"

Julian: Just tell me what she said.
Me: She didn't say anything.
Julian: Just tell me.
Me: She's just pissed because you left her that note. Why did you?
Julian: Because I got my letter and it was confidencial from when I gave blood.
Me: Yeah, but-
Julian: THEY OPENED MY MAIL.
Me: What? Are you sure? Did you ask them?
Julian: They opened my mail!
Me: DID you ask them? Do you know that sometimes they come open like that? It's happened to me bef-
Julian: Word.
Me: Look, I-
Julian: Word.

And I couldn't get anything out after that. He just kept interrupting me. "Word. Word. Word." FUCK. Fine. Shit. I don't want to hear comments about how stupid and weak I am. Okay. I already know this. Just leave me the fuck alone.

Poo.

I waited for Sin. I even cleaned my room. And... I BAKED A CAKE FOR HER WELCOME. :o I was in the mood to bake one. Not to eat one, though. I'm nauseous. It's a chocolate bunt cake with strawberry icing. Yum. Eh. Anyway. She called me around 10 PM to let me know that she wasn't able to come over tonight. I understood comepletely. We would have had maybe five hours to hang out. Which is shit. She sold her car, too. Steven was going to bring her over (now it makes sense) and pick her up Saturday morning. It felt rushed and a waste of time. So, she decided to wait until Spring Break. Then, she can hang out for two days. She is willing to come over soon, though. Other reasons. We talked for a while, though. Caught up on a few things.

Sigh. So much in/on/in between my mind. I still feel odd. Something's missing. No idea what, though because I can't seem to listen to myself that well. It's created this hallow feeling in my chest. My brain is telling me to fill that hole with food, but I don't want to. I don't need that. I can be filled with many other things. Nothing can satisfy me as much as two things. One of them isn't even here.

"Bon Jovi, Everyone!" So says Petter Griffin.

From 8 AM through 1 PM

You know. I miss Newsradio. I wish they would bring back the reruns. It was a great show.

I've been out of it. Ask Nanj and Jen. I feel bad for them. I sort of lost it when I was talking to them. Sorry, guys. You just happened to get caught up in my nervousness. It didn't hit me until about four hours ago. I was beside myself.

Anyway, I got to read Colette's essay tonight (which was funny) and that led me to research Cupid WHICH led me to Psyche. I loved the story. There was a typo in there (that I caught by luck), but that didn't kill it. And now, I have the need to get into Roman/Greek Mythology. Here comes another short-lived hobby. I didn't know how big of a bitch Aphrodite really was and that she really came from Uranus' castrated penis. Gotta love these fucking stories. You think The Sopranos are a fucked up family? Think again.

Bleh. We got a note from the City of Ontario stating that our neighborhood's main water pipe (or whatever) will be shut down from 8 AM through 1 PM. So... I am going to make it my mission to stay up until three so I can wake up super late. Like 1 PM late. I won't mind missing The Gilmore Girls. I do mind missing Crafters: Coast To Coast, though. I've been missing that show too much. I need my crafting fix.

Julian came by this morning. I needed 90 from him to pay my bills. He wants to come over Friday to hang out with Sin and I. We want to go to Nickle! Nickle! We could play NES games for hours. Sadly, I'll have to go to work at 5. Eh. Mari and I took a walk today. We went to a 99 Cent, 98 Cent, and Five Dollar store. On our way back home, we came across what looked like a Tranvestite carrying a violin case. This person just passed Mari and I, but made sure to give us a polite "Hello" before moving on. I didn't really have time to think about who I was going to greet back. I just gave that person a big smile and looked at his/her face. "Huh," I thought. Then Mari asked, "Was that a guy?" "Who knows," I replied. Who cares. That person was nice. Unlike this guy that came up to us at the 99 Cent store. Mari and I were looking at hair goods when this guy passed by. "Hey girls. Ooh, I love your look. You girls sure know how to style." I thanked him and smiled politely while thinking, "Alright buddy, what do you want?" "Look, girls... I was wondering if I could get some help... See, I was working, but now I am out of labor ... I want to stay away from drugs ... I have kids to take care of ... I just need four dollars ... blah, blah, blah." Oh, jeeze. I just smiled politely again and told him that I was broke out of my ass. Yeah, sure, I would have given him a buck or two just to get him off my back, but I didn't have much. Maybe that guy should sell his bling and help his children that way.

Dionne Warwick's nostrils REALLY bother me, BTW.

VR on my lips feels so nice.

Hmm. I forgot to mention that it seems my boss didn't sell the restaurant. Karla told me on Sunday that it was just a rumor. Now, I choose not to believe THAT. I won't believe it until it happens. Or not. But still, seemed weird that he's booked parties as far as March. Hmm. Whatever.

Work was boring as fuck today. I only spent three hours there and I did more talking and doing random things than actual work. I think I only bussed four tables. Boo. I didn't know how boring Tuesday nights could be. David and Memo, the manager, talked to me about getting my own home. "You should start preparing for that. It'll only get more expensive the older you get." They sure made me think a whole lot about that. "So, I should just skip the apartment and go straight for the house?" I asked. "Yeah. Unless you want to throw your money away." Hmm. And well, I will. I want to. I have to prepare for other stuff first. LIKE HOW TO DRIVE. Pleh.

The other busboy there tonight came up to me and asked me how I lost the weight. "I gave up soda and walked." He just looked at me. What did he expect? So, I added to it. "I don't eat as much as many think, too." Mmhmm. A while later, while I was eating a burrito, he says, "Don't eat anymore." I looked at him and said, "I eat, dammit. I don't eat like this everyday, but I eat." I probably confused him. They all believe that I am on some diet and even though I was for a few days, I'm not anymore. I dropped that diet faster than you could eat a dry salad. I ate more when I was in that diet than when I wasn't.

I've been listening to Classical music for the past few days. I used to as a kid. It helped me go to sleep then and it's helping me now. :D Ah, so Sin is coming after all. She won't get here until after 10 PM. That means I have to stay up. Wewt. I just found old Habbo friends. Must reconnect.

More time.

Karla called me this afternoon asking if I could go in for Erik. I agreed. I neeeeeed the money. I want to get enough tips to buy that body spray I've been wanting (I'm bussing). I ran out of body spray and perfume. I hate being without one or the other. It's dead during the week, though. I am going in the "evening" shift. I might have to close tonight.

Sin emailed me today. She wants to come over for a day or two. Fun time! Woo. I haven't seen her since September. I hope she can make it.

Browsing through mitchhedberg.net

'Cause I miss Kolin.

Anyway, I came across this list of hotels Mitch likes.

ONTARIO, CALIFORNIA:
The AMEN SUITES at the ONTARIO MILLS MALL. I live 45 minutes away and I still stay there. That's how good it is. Great complimentary breakfast with waffles, french toast, and pancakes ready for you to stuff into your 'in room' microwave oven. Movie theater style popcorn available 24 hours a day. Same goes for coffee, tea, and mix-it-yourself hot chocolate. Hotel is a stone's throw from a Big-Ass Mall.

I still don't understand why Ontario Mills is considered a "big-ass mall." It isn't that big. It's a mall. It has stores. Once I read that Ontario Mills was the No. 1 tourist attraction in Southern California. Are you fucking shitting me? What ever happened to Disneyland? Surely Hollyweird is waaaay up there and before the Ontario Mills Mall in the "Cool Places To Check Out When Visiting So Cal" list. Cool. Right.

You make me want to kill myself again.

Over the dumbest shit. THE DUMBEST SHIT. I am going to attack him one day. "Cristal, why do you- BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!" And I didn't even bother to continue to argue. He always ends with "Yeah, right." HE NEVER LET'S- Fuck. Over a fucking phone. He got mad because I had the phone in my room. Yeah, I forget to put it back at times, but fuck. Really. "The batteries will go dead." Who is he to tell me about that? I found the phone on the fucking floor this morning. He leaves it lying around, but if I or my sister does that. Oh, that motherfucker. My mom came home from work crying because she had a really bad headache. I didn't want to start screaming at him over nothing.

Yesterday, I went into the kitchen to get some water and he was standing there preparing a tequila shot. He offered some. I looked into his eyes and said no. "Yeeah, right. You know you want some. You know you're going to get some later." That asshole. Obnoxious asshole. I am not an alcoholic like he is. The things he says, the way he says them... it makes me feel very small. And when he does, I can't get a hold of myself. I want to hurt myself so badly. I don't want to hurt because of him. I want to hurt because of me.

Since Erika is gone, I am working all day Saturdays from now on. Long days, but I need the money.

Screw this. I can't think right now.

Morons in action.

ConstantConverse: Wheatfsdjgsd?
I am Oxie Moron: LOL ME TOO!
ConstantConverse: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ConstantConverse: where did you go
I am Oxie Moron: I got kicked.
ConstantConverse: WHY!?
ConstantConverse: what did you do?
I am Oxie Moron: Because I made "inapporiate calls"
I am Oxie Moron: LOL!!!!
I am Oxie Moron: TWO HOURS.
ConstantConverse: they didn't do anything to me!
ConstantConverse: and I made two!
I am Oxie Moron: LOL They got the wrong person.
ConstantConverse: !!
I am Oxie Moron: I didn't do anything.
ConstantConverse: LOL
I am Oxie Moron: LOL!!!!!!
I am Oxie Moron: What a bunch of shits.
ConstantConverse: i am so sorry!
I am Oxie Moron: It's okay!
ConstantConverse: dude!
ConstantConverse: sorry!
I am Oxie Moron: LOL It's oay.
ConstantConverse: can you get on a different name?
ConstantConverse: I am eralyl sorry
I am Oxie Moron: Of course.
I am Oxie Moron: lol No,it's okay. It's only two damn hours.
I am Oxie Moron: My first ban!
I am Oxie Moron: LOL!!!!!!!
I am Oxie Moron: Oh my god, this is so fucking hilarious.
ConstantConverse: and you didn't do anythign!
I am Oxie Moron: I know!
ConstantConverse: hahaha!
I am Oxie Moron: LOL
ConstantConverse: retards
I am Oxie Moron: What did Marc say?
ConstantConverse: he asked if you were mad
I am Oxie Moron: LOL
I am Oxie Moron: Okay?
ConstantConverse: are you mad?
I am Oxie Moron: Nooo.
ConstantConverse: I am sorry!
I am Oxie Moron: lol
I am Oxie Moron: It's OKAY.
ConstantConverse: i was hoping I would get banned!
ConstantConverse: DUMB HOBBAS!
I am Oxie Moron: They're the retarded ones who didn't get the right person.
I am Oxie Moron: I am going to email them about it :D
ConstantConverse: lol
ConstantConverse: lol
I am Oxie Moron: Just gonna say they banned me for no reason at all
ConstantConverse: Ys and IEs do not look that much a like
I am Oxie Moron: lol

:)

FIRE!

So, I just got news a while ago that Erika "quit." Well, she said she was going to quit tomorrow, but got fired tonight instead. Erika's father quit two weeks ago. So, I am in charge or Erika's work area. I like that than being a hostess. I do more taking care of the buffet area. I will be even more bored, though. Erika was the one that I talked to the most. Yeah, she bored me a times, but that's only because we are different. Oh well. Looks like I am taking my dictionary to work again. This means that I am getting an extra hour of work. Whether I am working the whole Saturday is still undetermined. I wouldn't mind. More money. But it's more than likely that Ramiro will make me train a new girl. Whatever. I am not spending much time working at Mi Pueblo either. At least I hope not. I have to move on. I got my people skills down (well, halfway there). I dunno.

I was raging inside this morning. David and Mom went out drinking last night. Pleh. I remember hearing them come home and settling in their room and pleading, "Please don't have sex. Pleeease don't have sex. Pleeeeeeease." I hardly remember that, though. It seemed like I dreamed it up. Anyway, David was obnoxious this morning. I was boiling inside. I either wanted to cry or hurt myself. Too emotional. I didn't understand why I was that angry. Thoughts of Kolin and cutting drowned me. It was back and forth. "God, I want to bleed. But no. I can't. Hold it in. NO! Yes. DO IT. NO! YES! FOR KOLIN! AHHH!" Yeah. Kolin won.

I got my period when I was at work. So, there's my reason for being too damn emotional like that. Fucking PMS. As soon as I had a reason (other than David), I felt calm. I still have this weird rash all over my face. It burns and itches like hell, but only on and off. I asked my mom what it could be and she didn't know, but she told me to put some sticky liquid on my face to heal the itching. It worked for a while. My face feels very dry. Tight at times, but just dry and nasty. My face better heal soon. I don't want Kolin to see or feel me this way.

My hair needs to grow faaaster. I need to finish my "mohawk." I've come close to cutting my hair a few times the past few days. Ahh. I am addicted to cutting my hair.

-_-

I've had this "rash" on the sides of my chin since Thursday and now this "rash" has spread all over my face. I think I'm allergic to this new soap Mom got.

I look like I went crazy with the blush.

"I wanna be your super freak... "

It's One AM. Our phone is still out of service. Sure, others can call home and yes, others can hear us when we speak, but we can't hear a damn thing other than static. People were supposed to come over tod- yesterday to check out the problem. We were stood up. Bastards.

I hope they come in today. I hate the fact that people have been calling my cellphone because the damn phone is being a bitch. Speaking of bitch... I've been in a bitchy mood. I am either, hungry, horny, or bitchy. It blows. I'm gonna gain the pounds back. Grr.

Eh.

Last night.

Before you ignore this, I do have something to say. David mentioned this past Friday that my mother wanted to file for Chapter 11. It seems she hasn't payed her hospital bill from August of 2003 when she had that abortion. Anyway. You can go away now.

1) Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought: Hmm. Nail polish, two bras, pair of panties, aaaaaand... uh, my sister's Christmas present. I think.

2) Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink : Water, water, and water. No. It's water, pink lemonade WITH water, grapefruit juice, and whatever other juice there is around the house.

3) Last Time You Cried? I don't remember. Oh, right. Christmas Eve.

4) What's In Your CD Player? Otep's Sevas Tra. I can't stop listening to it.

5) What's Under Your Bed? Absolutely nothing.

6) What Time Did You Wake Up Today? 7 AM. Work. WOO. I took a four-hour nap today. It was nice. Jealous?

7) Current Hair? As opposed to...? It's curly, short, and black with two red curls. MESSY.

8) Current Clothes? Right now? My grey sweats and my old (OLD) Christmas long-shirt PJ.

9) Current Desktop Picture? Kolin. 12 pictures of Kolin. I have the same on my wall. *swoon*

10) Current Worry? Not having money. But right now, I am trying to stay relaxed as much as possible. I don't want to break out before Kolin comes over. I can do without Zittopia.

11) Current Hate? Nothing. I am at peace right now. It's odd because there's always something going down. So, I am expecting for something to fall apart soon, but until then... I am very good.

12) Favorite Places To Be? My room, my bed, under a tree, in my slippers, at my desk, and soon... in Kolin's arms.

13) Least Favorite Place? Anywhere where I don't feel comfortable.

14) If You Could Play An Instrument? Yes? If I could play an instrument... what? If I could then... I could. Now, if I could GROWL like a man in a metal band... that would be great for parties and family gatherings.

15) Favorite Colors? Blue, orange, red, green, black, pink, woo! Rainbow.

16) How Tall Are You? How tall you do want me to be? 5'5''

17) Favorite expression? From who? I love the o_O and the :O expression. Especially when I cause it.

18) One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To: What's with the caps? Hmm. One person. My grandfather, Teofilo. He was a smart, smart man. My grandmother feared him, I bet. She burned his mattress as soon as he died. I still want to talk to him. Either him or my uncle, Alfonso.

19) Favorite Day(s)? Moooonday and Saturday. I don't know why.

20) Where Would You Like To Go? I've already said where. Tokyo. But I'd have to go to Florida and steal Kolin first.

21) Where do you want to live when you get married? I dunno. Getting ahead of ourselves aren't we? As long as I am with Kolin.

22) Favorite food?: Right now my favorite is EVERYTHING. But, I can live off of sandwiches, Cup Noodle soups, and Chinese food.

23) Color of most clothes you own: Black and red. Pink, too. I think. A lot of darker clothes, though.

24) Number of pillows you sleep with? I have three, I sleep with one. That one counts for two because they are queen-sized pillows. They are fluffy.

25) What do you wear when you go to sleep?: Depends. Sometimes I wear what I have on, other times I'll put on some sweats, and then there's the hot nights. :X I don't sleep naked often. That's scary.

26) What were you doing 12AM last night: It's 12:25 right now (waiting for MILK-CHAN), so, last night? I was talking to Kolin about... stuff. Lyrics. Nice ones.

27) How old will you be in 10 yrs: 31.8. :O Good GOD.

28) What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years: I have no idea. Hopefully I'll be more responsible and on my own. Maybe doing something artistic

29) Have you ever had braces? Nope. My teeth aren't that jacked. But it's getting there.

30) Are you paranoid?! OMG! -_- Sometimes.

31) Do you burn or tan? I do neither. The sun and I aren't close friends.

32) What is the brand of your wallet? I have a wallet? OH YES. I DO. It's one of those brands that Target always has. Xhiliaration or something. I dunno. I got it four years ago. I don't really use it.

33) First piercing/tattoo? Heh. I got my first piercings when I was 15 days old. But that doesn't count so, lip ring at 18. No tattoos yet.

34) First enemy? Again... School.

35) Last person you yelled at? Me? Yell at someone? Well, Julian, I guess.

36) Last serious significant other? First and last: Kolin.

37) Last thing you ate? Froot Loops mixed with Special K. Mmm.

If you've gotten this far... kudos. Onto number two.

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 12 and Write down what it says. wig. Bad tempers were heredity int he Fritzgerald family; when
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? My boom box.
3: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is: Ummmmm. AH! MUST NOT LOOK! DAMN COMPUTER. I think it's 1:06.
4: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? HA. 1:01. Lame.
5: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The TV (Mission Hill) and the rain.
6: When did you last step outside? What were you doing? This morning. I was on my way to work.
7: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? I was looking at Milk-Chan stuff.
8: What are you wearing? Clothes.
9: When did you last laugh? A few minutes ago. Milk-Chan rocks.
10: What is on the walls of the room you are in? One poster, a corkboard, and a few pictures.
11: Seen anything weird lately? Yeah. Everytime I look at myself in the mirror. :D Sorry, babe.
12: What is the last film you saw in theaters? Hmm. Was it Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? I don't remember.
13: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? First thing I would do is pay off my debt. Get that damn shit out of my life.
14: Tell me something about you that I don't know: First, who are YOU? Second, something you don't know? What is there? Okay, there this: I have baby powder in my room. That I use sometimes.
15: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Only thing I want from people is to have an open mind.
16: George Bush: can suck my dick.
17: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Where's my Baby Names book?
18: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Anything but "Bob."
19: Who is the hottest guy in town? He doesn't live here.

Still here? Good for you. But this next one is very long. Looong. Long. So, go away now. Take a nap. If not, enjoy?

Shoe: Chuck Taylors
Comic: PvP Online (and Red Meat)
Artist: As in painting? Mark Ryden rocks.
Drug (if any): I love the legal ones. You can get away with it much easier.
Word: Eh.
Letter: X

Have you ever?
Shaved off all your hair: Almost.
Shaved off your Eyebrows: Yes. When I was a kid.
Shaved off your Nipples: Nope and I am not planning on doing that anytime soon.
Bungee jumped: No. If I am jumping it'll be without a cord or chute.
Attempted suicide: In my mind.
Attempted homicide: In my mind.
Been in court: No.
Been to jail: No.
Masturbated: Many a nights. And sometimes days.
Had oral sex: Here we go. No.
Had anal sex: No.
Had sex: NO.
Had a threesome: Nope.
Had homosexual relations: Only in my dreams.

Your house!
How many couches: Two,
How many rooms: Hmm. Four.
How many phones: Just one. Cellphones make four.
How many TVs: Let's see... Five.
How many bathrooms: 1.5
Your room color: Red and white.
Describe your bed: It's old, dirty, and worn out. I love it. I need to buy new sheets.
Describe your walls: Almost plain. Compared to how I've had them when I was younger, they are very plain. But I am happy with my walls now. I don't need a lot.
Do you share your room: No way.
Any pets: No pets anymore. Well, I got a new one this week. My pet frog, Jimmy. Name just popped into my head. It's a golden frog with a green back and red eyes. Mariquita gave it to me for Christmas. It rocks.
Favorite room: Miiiiine.
Least favorite room: The dining room.
How many stereos: Just two that I know of.
How many clocks: Hmm. Maybe four.

Drugs!!
What is your moral placement when it comes to drugs: I don't care. I try and stay away from the very serious stuff. I don't need any more addictions.
What about alcohol: Eh. Not as fun as it used to be.
Have you done Marijuana: Nah.
Coke: Nope.
Crack: Nope.
Extacy: Nope.
Shrooms: Nope.
Acid: Nope.
Meth: *sigh*
Speed: Nope.
Opium: Nope.
zzheroin: Uhh...
Nitrous: Nope.
Inhailents: Nope.
Other pills: I dunno.
What drugs do you want to do: NONE. FUCK OFF!


Your Love Life
Is there anyone: Anyone where? This question sucks. I love you, Kolin.

More... :D
Your Hobbies: Reading, sleeping, drawing, watching TV, sleeping, thinking, day dreaming...
Your Motto:Because I can.
How would someone describe you: I am LEGIT, son. I dunno. I try to be as honest and loyal as I can be.
Do you like yourself: Sometimes. I have to.
Do you love yourself: Okay. That's taking it TOO FAR, Mister!
Do you think you're sexy: Yeah, when I wear a red flower in my hair.
Cute: Hmm. Sometimes? Mostly when Kolin says I am.
Ugly: Sometimes.
Do you think you're smart: Depends.
Do you read books: Yes'sah.
Newspapers: I used to. :O I should get back on that.
Magazines: Nah. Not anymore.
Do you write: Not as much as I used to.
Do you draw: YES. Getting back on that.
Bored Yet? It's 1:49 AM. I am sleepy.
Are you: I DON- YES. YES I am.
What time is it: I just- Grr.
How do you feel: AHH!!!!!!
What do you smell: *sniffs* Ahhh. I can't smell. It's too cold. :(
Are you eating: Noo.
Drinking: Water.
Who is with you: No one. I am alooone.
What do you hear: TV/Rain.
What else are you doing: Aside from this, I am falling asleep.
What do you want: I want KOLIN!!

Looooooongest (yeah, no shit)

How many rings are you wearing? None at this time.
Bracelets? NONE at this time.
What is your favorite boys name? I like names that start with J or K. That was before I met Kolin, too. I love simple names.
Girls name? Again. Simple. I don't care for girly names like Courtney, Tiffany, Bobby, Jordan, Jessie, Sandy... shit like that.
Are your feelings easily hurt? Yeah. Depends.
Do you prefer to hang with guys or gals? I prefer to hang out with pets.
What's your favorite color hair on the opposite gender? Greeeeeen. :D. I love all colors but Green, Red, and Black are the best.
And eyes? GREEEEEN! Again, before I met Kolin. Green and grey. Mmm.
Do law enforcement people draw your attention? Why would they?
How tall are you? 5'5''
Do you think you are strong? How so? Eh, forget it. I am weak.
How old are your parents? Hmm. 44 and 50-something. I think 52.
What color are your socks? Right now? One is black and the other is navy blue. Yeah. I missmatch.
Do you like to fly? Only when I get high. On loooooooove. No. I don't fly.
What's your favorite car? 1970 Chevelle SS.
Do you have a car? Noo.
What color car do you WANT? I've always wanted a black Chevelle with red stripes.
Do you have your liscense? No. FUCK OFF. :(
Do you like to watch NASCAR? Booooring. Unless a car crashes. Then it's semi-boring.
Do you think it would be cool to be on a pit crew? Uh, no?
What did you have for breakfast? Nuggets. w00t.
What do you think makes crop circles? Aliens. From Mexico.
Do you have a mood ring? Yeah. It's old and broken.
What color is it now? I don't know. I'd have to check. Can't find it. Screw it. It's always blue/green.
Have you ever been to an amusement park? Yeah.
Do you like rollercosters? They can be fun, sure.
Have you ever been out of the country? Yes.
How many states have you lived in? Only one.
How many states have you been in? Only ONE.
What's your favorite state? ONLY- Oh. I don't have one. I'd say Florida because Kolin lives there, but their weather sucks. I'd die there. Sorry babe.
Do you have allergies? Yeah. Well, my yearly Spring allergies. And when I get nervous.
What color is your keyboard? Grey and dirty.
Who is your best friend? Hmm. I'd say Kolin. I dunno. I'd hate putting friends on different levels like that. You're all equally great.
What is your best friend's favorite color? -_- Okay, I'll go with Kolin and say neon green, black and red.
Do you like to sing? I love to sing.
Do you sing well? Heh. People say I do, but people can be blind. Or in this case, deaf.
Do people correct your grammer a lot? Online, Kolin corrects me. In person, I do the correcting. And it's GRAMMAR. Dolt.
Who is the biggest grammer person you know? Again. Grammar. And it's Eileen.
Are you a Christian? No.
If yes, how long? Hey, what happened to "if not, why?" My answer would be, "Because I am not religious." It's so simple yet so many can't grasp the idea.
Do you go to church? Nope.
Where? I.. don'- Shhh.
Are most of your friends older or younger? Younger.
Who's your tallest friend? Uh... I forget. I know a few who are 6'.
Do you like doing physical labor? It depends on what I am doing.
Would you ever try and get on a reality TV show? Fuck off with that shit.
What about a talent show? I got over that in grade school. Noooo.
Do you like to dance? Depends.
Have you ever taken dance lessons? Heh. Sorta.
Do you play an instrument? Yeah. I can make beautiful music when I start beating on the walls.
What's your user pic? This is an obvious LiveJournal question. Blogger has one too, though. Mine is a picture of me.
Are you reading anything right now? Yeah, this DAMN survey.
What? Oh, wait. You meant a book? Hmm. No. Not at the moment. My dictionary, maybe.
Do you like to read? Yeah. Sometimes.
What's your favorite fruit? My favorite fruiS are watermelon, kiwi, asian pear... mmm. Asian pears for sure.
Do you like country music? Eh heh.

Do you like your hair long, short, or medium? I like it short, but I want it longer.
What's the longest plane flight you've ever been on? Maybe two hours? From TJ to Guadalajara.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Sometimes.
Do you know sign language? I know one. ,l,,
Any other languages? Spanish and Spanglish.
Do you type fast? I believe I type too damn fast at times. I end up getting stuck, fucking up, or forgetting letters... or words.
Is your hair curly or straight? Curly :D
What time is it? 2:12 AM
Do you like day or night best? Night, suckah.
Do you like to play sardines? What the hell is that?
Isn't hide and seek at night great? When I was 8? Hide and seek is too stressful.
You miss anyone? I miss Kolin.
Do you have a busy scedule? Me? Ha. Funny. It's "schedule," BTW.
What color is your monitor? I have a flat screen, bizzatch. And it's grey. Silver?
What kind of computer mouse do you have? HP. I need an optical mouse. Those fucking rule.
What's your favorite board game? Ouija.
When's the last time you played a board game? Maybe a year ago. Or two.
What was it? Harry Potter trivia game.
Who did you get your last email from? Kolin.
Who do you miss getting emails from the most? No one.
What's your favorite desert? Anything chocolate. Like, cookies. Mm.
Do you have any old nagging injuries? None that I know of.
Do you like to bake or cook? I like to bake. I hate grease. I love the oven.
Are you crafty? Yes :D
What's the last gift you recieved? Jimmy the frog.
From who? My grandma's friend, Mariquita.
What's the last gift you gave? Maria's Harry Potter wristband.
To who? MARIA.
Do you like hugs? Depends.
Do you give them often? Nope.
Do you like to look at the stars? Very much so.
Do you like fishing? Nah.
When was the last time you fished? Um... I don't remember.
Have you ever caught anything? No.
Do you like to camp? Depends.
When's the last time you camped? I was five.
Do you like fuzzy dice? Eh. I can do without those.
Do you think cowboys are cool? What th- I don't care.
Do you like horses? Donkeys are waaaaay cooler.
Have you ever ridden a horse? A horse, a macho, an elephant, a donkey, and some other random animal.
What's your favorite weather? There are two kinds that I like. That perfect warm weather with cool breeze (zephyr) and that nice, crispy, fall, October weather.
What kind of place do you live in? As in town? I live in a nice community. The type of town that people do stuff in. Sorta like Stars Hallow, but not that fake.
How long have you lived in your current location? Seven years, almost eight.
Do you like it? I've grown to love it here. I love Ontario.
Are you saving money for anything? I can't. :( I've tried many times.
Do you like cows? Uh, yeah. S-Sure. Moo.
Have you ever been in a play? Yeah. In grade school.
How many? A couple here and there.

More randomness.
Do you go to winter camp? What is that? No.
Have you been to summer camp? No camps for me.
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