Destiny - Zero 7

Doo. Doo. I got a call from Julian after workout today. He told me that Mom and our aunt, Gia, have been trying to get a hold of her (or us) for a while. That, I know... it's just been busy around here and Mari usually forgets to call back. She's not used to this. Then he asks me if we were coming back to the apartment because he's ready to bail. Understandable. I told him, Wednesday. He said that THAT was all he's been hearing. Well, fucking sorry for being busy. I do do a lot here with Sandy and Bill. Sometimes, they just need me to give them company to a doctor's appointment. They are just that kind of people. They like company. So, I had to defend myself. He made me feel guilty.

I call Mari and tell her to call my aunt. She does and when I come in the door I see her face. Oh boy. Is she defending herself? I dunno. She talks with her for short while then passes the phone to me. My aunt greets me in a very loving weight. We talked about me losing weight and her getting on the healthy path, too. Then she starts with the whole brother and us thing. She made a lot of good points on his behalf, but also on my sister's and mine. It goes both ways, but... yeah.

Then, Mom calls. I tried to listen to Mari's voice. It didn't sound that good. I was getting angry. After a short conversation I ask her what she wanted. "She was crying and said that she misses us." Well, no shit. She fucked up and JUST now started to realize it ONLY because my aunt said something to her. She's feeling guilty. Oh fucking well. Grandpa was there and gave Mari a talk. Made her cry. I held it in.

I had a talk with Bill. "I wouldn't be surprised if she killed herself." I really wouldn't. I just hope she doesn't do something stupid. For Mari's sake.

When I’m weak I draw strength from you.
And when you’re lost I know how to change your mood.
And when I’m down you breathe life over me.
Even though we’re miles apart we are each other’s destiny.

Ha.

Habbo on PostSecret.

Who are you?

WAKE UP!!

Up so eeeeeearly in the mooooooorning. OH yeah. Leaving in less than an hour to go to Cedar. Umm. Having lunch at Sharkey's! I hear it's good. Talking to Travus here. Doot. :D And...

Ink Filled Scars: Oh, I meant to tell you yesterday. Don't worry about coming here.
I am Oxie Moron: Why?
Ink Filled Scars: CAUSE I DONT WANT YOU HERE
Ink Filled Scars: no
Ink Filled Scars: Sorry
I am Oxie Moron: o_O
Ink Filled Scars: Cause I decided to come there

DUN DUN DUN! I'll let you all know when he gets here. That is all.

"Because you kill me..."

You know you do, you do it well.
You like it too, and I can tell.

Oh yesss. I took a half of Vi and I am happy. :D

I went to the mall yesterday. Over at the OC. So, I hated it. I didn't realize how much designer bullshit they would have. But... yeah. I should have. Mari and I just walked past almost every store in that mall. Except four. Sanrio, Discovery Store, some book store called Book Soup or something and Puzzle Zoo. Puzzle Zoo was the BEST store ever and if I ever set foot in that mall again it would be to go to THAT store. I pissed my pants. Sooo much I wanted. Sooooo much! They had a linus action figure there. REN AND STIMPY! OH GOD. I wanted it ALL. But Mari got me (I am paying her back) one of the coolest stuffies every. I LOOOOVE IT.

I didn't want to leave that store. We then ate at the Rainforest Cafe after that.

I went to bed early. Just felt like complete crap. Mmm. Vi. God, I love this shit.

"Breaking long years of silence."

The girls, sexually abused by the man they called Daddy, hope their story helps other victims speak up.

The first few years it was happening, Jessica Kelley says, she didn't
even know it was wrong. Neither did her half sister. Cassie LeBlanc thought it
was the way daddies showed their love.

...

Jessica told her mother by playing a song by the heavy metal band called OTEP.

Look what he did to me! Why did you do it to me?
How could you do it to me?! Why did you do it to me?
I will not cry ... I will not cry
I prefer to die!

The abuse started in 1994, the girls told authorities, and it ended in 2000.

As Otep says: Sevas Tra.

It's true.

Just so you can see.

I love you. :D

OMFG!

Oh yes. OMFG.

So, Chaffey High calls this morning. At Sandy's. I answer, pass it to Sandy. She passes it back to me. The attendance lady asks me questions. Uh oh. Okay. She tells me that some school letters have been sent back to them stating that blah, blah... We don't live there anymore. "So, she lives in Colton?"

Me: Uh, no. See... *sigh* It's a long, messy story. My aunt lives in Colton. My mother moved to Mexico and is using her as a new address.
Her: Okay. So, who is 'Car-rill-o?"
Me: Carrillo. That's my mother's husband. He moved to Mexico, too.
Her: And your father?
Me: He lives in Pomona.
Her: *sucks teeth in*

Hmm. She then tells me that I have to get a notarized letter from my dad stating that I have legal guardianship of my sister. By this coming week. Or Mari will be dropped from school. OKAY. So, I have to do that soon. Fucking Mother.

And THEN, last night Bill mentioned something about getting bunkbeds. o_O Oh no. And after I left, he and Sandy talked about our situtation. The Brother Situation. And they got into it in LEGAL terms. Meaning, if the police came in the apartment while my brother and his friends are drinking/smoking pot... *I* go to jail and Mari gets taken away by the CPS. We don't want that, right? No. So, they convinced me to move in with them. Mari and I. Trust me. I took a LOT of convincing. Mari was happy. "Cristal. I know why you are reluctant to move in," Says Sandy, "I respect you for that because it will be financially hard, but it has to be done." Bill is pissed at Mom. Cussing and name calling. "I think she's in her ooown world. Where she comes first." Very true.

So, I call Dad. Tell him. He says no. "Julian will change. He promised me. He only told me they smoked twice in there." Blah, blah, BLAH, BLAH, BL-FUCKING-AH! I fucking fought my dad. In an educated way, of course. I've never done that with him. Ever. I usually just agree with him. Not this time. Alas, I said, "Fine. I'll try it out for a few more days." So, I am. But then Sandy said, "Why not stay here Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. And the rest of the days you can spend at home?" Sure! :) That's fine by me.

I am much relaxed now. I just threw it all up in here. If it doesn't make sense. Sorry. I have too much on my mind. I am going to a police auction tomorrow. Woo.

Oh. I LOVE YOU, KOLIN!

Doot! Doot!

About Me
What's your name?:: I dunno. C-something.
Nickname?:: Oxie, Cris or Baby are fine. Only "Baby" can be said by one person only.
What do you prefer to be called?:: Xena: Warrior Princess! Hmm. Cris.
Age?:: 22.
Do you look your age?:: Not usually. Some people still think I am in high school.
Do you share a b-day with anyone famous?::Yeeah? Hitler is one of them.
What color are your eyes?:: Drk. Brown.
Hair color?:: Black with Drk. Brown roots.
Height? 5'5"
Do you think you can afford to lose weight?:: I HAVE to. Health reasons.
Are you straight, bi, gay?:: Straight for Kolin's sake. lol
School?:: NONE. For now. Maybe.
Grade?:: "Grade A, top choice meat." I hate him.
Pets?:: Gavin! The cat. I miss him.
City You Live In?:: Ontario.
Live at home?:: I don't have a home. That might change soon, though.
How many people do you live with?:: Three.
How many brothers and sisters do you have?:: One brother, one sister, two older half brothers, and one younger half sister.
Do you like your parents?:: One of them.
Are you happy?::Sometimes.
Do you wear necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, or/and rings?::Yess.
What colors are you wearing right now?::Black and denim.
What color are most of your clothes?:: Black.
Do you blow-dry your hair?:: No.
Where's the weirdest place you've been?:: Hmm. Maybe this light store.
Do you have your own car?:: Blah.
What makes you unique in your own opinion?:: My creativity. Whatever is left of it.
Name your worst quality:: NO confidence. And other shit.
Name your best: Humor, politeness,
What would you like to do with your life?:: I want to be PROUD and happy with what I am doing.
Say one thing about yourself you've never told anyone: There's nothing.

Boredom level (1-5).
Put a number next to the following in the order of importance, 1 being the most important.
Family- 2
Friends- 3
Money- 1 (for obvious reasons)
Shelter- 2
Food/Water- 3
Fun- 3
Drugs/Alcohol- 5
Life- 1

Favorites
Favorite song?:: I dunno. One of them is It's For The Best by Straylight Run.
Favorite movie?:: The Harry Potter film series.
Favorite color?::Black and rainbow.
Favorite food?:: I've been craving a lot of broccoli.
Favorite restaurant?:: Hometown Kitchen. :D
Favorite mall?:: Um. I don't have a favorite one. It will be Montclair Plaza soon.
Favorite animal?:: Cats, dogs, hamsters, rabbits, blah, blah, blah.
Favorite actor/actress?::You know what? This doesn't pertain to her acting, but Salma Hayek is very cool.
Favorite band/singer?:: This and that.
Favorite radio station?:: I don't have one :)
Favorite TV show?:: I hardly watch TV now, so...
Favorite day of the week?:: Any workout days. Monday.
Favorite quote?:: Man will always be mad and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all - Voltaire.
Favorite number?:: 5. Because it's even when it's not.
Favorite cookie?: If it has chocolate in it... it's MINE.
Favorite soda?:: I don't drink any soda.
Favorite chocolate bar?:: Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar. MMM!
Who is your favorite care bear?:: When I HAD one, it was the one with the rainbow on it.
Favorite color of post-it note?:: Green.
Favorite card game to play?:: I like Uno and Poker.
Favorite cereal?:: Lucky Charms is one of them.
Favorite weather?:: Zephyrous wind! Warm, too.
Favorite berries?:: Hmm. Straw.
Favorite show growing up?:: Oh God. Almost ALL the classic Nick shows and some MTV ones.
Favorite song based on lyrics?:: Not Ready Yet by Eels.
Favorite song based on music?:: A lot! If it's hard and melodic... it's good.
Favorite poem?:: The Lady Of Shalott.
Favourite drink?:: Freckled Strawberry Lemonade.
Favorite movie when you were 10 years old?:: Ten? Uh... A Charlie Brown Christmas.
Where is your favourite place to go?:: Contours Express. :D
Favorite website?:: pandora.com
Favorite thing about winter?:: There is no hotness. And Christmas lights.

Friends/Relationships
Do you have a bf or g/f?:: I have a BF, but no GF.
Do you have a crush?:: No soda for me. :P Kolin!
If you could use three words to describe your crush or b/f g/f?:: Beautiful, Loving, Considerate. Above a lot more.
You go to your b/f-g/f's house for the first time and in his/her room, and everywhere is... you. What would you think?:: I'd be flattered. He is my boyfriend. Not a stalker.
Your bf/gf gets drunk at a party. In their state of drunkenness, they babble about that one time they fooled around with someone else while you were together. They wake up the next morning with a slight memory that did something stupid. What do you do?:: He wouldn't do that, but just in case, I'd stare at him and wait for some kind of an explaination. If I am in the mood to listen.
Would you ever leave little notes to your g/f-b/f?:: I would if I could!
Would you ever date someone outside of your social group?:: I am not in a social group.
Could you be called a Kinky person, a Hidden Kinky person, or an old fashioned person in bed?:: "Hidden" kinky person. ;)
How many ex-b/f or ex-g/f?:: Um. One, I guess.
What's the largest age difference between you and someone you've dated?:: Three years. Oh wait. I've NEVER dated.
(Guys) how would you feel if you gave a girl a flower?
(Girls) how would you feel if you got a flower from a guy?::: Depends on who gives it to me. :)
(Guys) your g/f has long beautiful hair, which you love, she comes to school the next day with a short crop cut. What do you HONESTLY think?
(Girls) your b/f has hair you love. He comes to school the next day with a shiny head. What do you HONESTLY think?:: "Ah. Must have gotten GUM in his hair again." Anyway, I wouldn't care.
If you could be in a relationship with anyone right now, who would it be?:: I am in one. Just not physically.
What’s your idea of a perfect date?:: A nice, long walk to nowhere. I'd be a cheap date.
Have you experienced it? No.
Say you saw a really hot guy/girl at school one day and you had no idea who he was, would you talk to him/her?:: No. He could turn out to be a douche.
What would you say to "break the ice"?:: Something very random.
Have you or would you ever do anything more than kiss in a public area? No and I dunno.

Who’s your best friend?:: I don't have a best one. They are all great. :)
Which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most?:: Kolin, Colette, Sinthya, Nanj, and Sandy.
You have this uh, erotic dream about your friend of the opposite sex. How do you act and feel around that friend the next day?:: I wouldn't act any different.
At one point in a girl/guy friendship will one of them like the other even if it's only for a little bit. True or false?:: True.
What's a happy memory of a time you've spent with the opposite sex?:: When Kolin called for the first time was a great, happy memory.
If someone said you were hot, what would you think?:: "Yeah. Okay." or "Fuck off."
(Girls) what's something about guys you don't get?:: When you say you LOVE someone, don't screw other girls. Even when you're not with the one you love. Okay?
(Guys) what's something about girls you don't get?
What's one look trait that attracts you to a guy/girl?:: Their uniqueness.
What's one personality trait that attracts you to a guy/girl?:: Intelligent humor.
Which guy/girl do you wish to be with RIGHT now?:: Kolin.
Is it right to flirt if you have a b/f-g/f? Not intentionally. And I say that because some people are naturally charming, so they can't help themselves. But, nope. It's called COMMITMENT and LOYALTY.
Would you rather go ballroom dancing or square dancing?:: Slam dancing! I dunno. I don't dance.
Ever experience unconditional love?:: Yes.
What's your opinion on love?:: "All you need is love."
What does love feel like to you?:: Calmness, giddyness, acceptance, and euphoric.
Do you love anyone?:: Oh yes.

This or That
Vanilla Ice THEN, or Vanilla Ice NOW?:: None.
Silver or Gold? Silver.
Zebras or Leopards? Um. Zebras.
Zebra skin coats or leopard skin pants? Leopard skin pants, I guess.
Are candles romantic or a fire hazard? Both are.
Letter or E-Mail? Letter.
Buttons or Boxes? Buttons!
Florida or California? Florida.
Would you rather eat sandwiches or pasta for the rest of your life? Pasta.
Would you rather be married in Venice, Italy, or Honolulu, Hawaii? Italy. :)
Waffles or Pancakes? Waffles!
Football or Rugby? Meh.
Hat or Visor? Neh.
Ice Skating or Rollerblading?:: Feh.
Pizza or Burgers?:: Pizzas. Mmm.
Do you stay in bed thinking or do you fall asleep in 5 seconds? Stay in bed and think a lot.
Would you rather go to a boarding school, private school, or an all girls/guys school? No school.
Chalk or Crayons? Crayons.
Coffee, Cappucino, or Tea?:: Cappuccino.
Sun or Moon?:: Moon.
Raining Days or Sunny Days?:: Depends.
Glass Half Empty or Half Full?:: Half empty. 'Tis how I see it. Not broken anymore. Just cracked.
Winter or Summer? Winter.
Autumn or Spring?:: FALL!
Dog or Cat or Fish? Cat.
Pool or Hot Tub? Pool.
Shower or Bath? Shower.
Snail Mail or E-Mail? Snail.
Phone or Letter?:: Phone.
White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate?:: Mm. MILK!
Cake or Ice Cream? Ice cream.

Other
Which do you think would have the most interesting outcome after interbreeding- Llamas and pandas OR ostriches and prairie dogs? Llamas and Pandas. Preeetty.
If you believe in reincarnation, what would you come back as in your next life?:: A cat!
What is your lucky number and why?:: I like 5. Not lucky. Just like it.
How many CDs do you own? Um. I dunno.
What would your perfect day consist of?:: Hanging out with Kolin.
Have you ever lied to get off the phone or out of talking to someone on line? Yes.
Have you ever written a survey? Nah.
How about a song? Lol. Not that I remember.
Or maybe a poem? Yes.
Do you read your horoscope? If it's there, yes.
If so, do you base your day on it? Nah.
What is the best present you've ever given someone else?:: A drum set.
What is the best present someone else has ever given to you?:: I dunno.
Do you like having your picture taken? Not that much.
Have you ever done a photo shoot, professional or none? Nah.
If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why?: Italy. I dunno.
Who would you take with you on this little adventure?:: Kolin.
What would you say is the most daring thing to do in a lifetime? Doing what you LOVE to do.
Would you ever do that? I hope so.
Have you ever done crossword puzzles? Uh, yes.
Ever actually completed one? Yes.
Pick up the closest book and write a sentence at random from it? Hmm. "The nineteenth-century French poet Gerard de Nerval often took his pet lobster for a walk on the end of a length of a ribbon." I love this book.
Have you ever tried to analyze your own dreams? Of course. I HAVE books that can help
Would you put up posters in your room? Sure. Why NOT?!
Can you sing? Depends.
Ever been in an airplane? Yes.
If so where were you flying to? MEXICO.
How many surveys have you filled out this lifetime?:: A... lot.
Name one person your life is made better by?:: Kolin, even though he isn't here.
Name one person your life is made worse by?:: Gah Eric
If you could only talk to one person online who would that be?:: Jackie
What famous person dead or alive would you interview if you had the chance?:: My grandpa's great-great grandfather from my dad's side. Just to see.
Which movie can you watch and say the lines along with the actors?:: South Park.
Name one of your passions in life?:: Typing.
Write one sentence stating what you want people to say about you after you've passed on? "She was an amazing woman."
How fast can you run?:: I can't run at all! lol
What one thing would you change in your life if you had the power to do so? I would like to get my own home.
Describe the ideal superpower and what you would do if you had it. I would like to be able to go invisible. Just to stare at people while they take a shower. :S No. Just so I would be left alone. :D
When you’re talking do you ever use your hands to do quotation marks in the air when saying certain words? Yeeah. Lame!
Ever seriously questioned your sanity? Yes? I'm sure we all have.
What is the strangest thing you've ever done? Maybe singing in an opera tone. At work. Really loud. Everyone heard.
What is the worst thing anyone could ever do to you?:: Kill my loved ones.
Are you a fast typer? I tend to be, yes. But I also fuck up a lot.
Ever been to a farm? Yes.
Tell me about your dream last night: I had many short ones, but the only one I remember is getting an IM from Kolin telling me "I love you" in the many different ways that he does.

1. Your Movie Star Alias (Your favourite candy and your grandfather's first name): Hershey Teofilo. o_O
2. Your Fashion Designer Alias (First word you see on your left and your favourite restaurant): Snoopy Hometown Kitchen.
3. Exotic Foreigner Alias (Favourite spice and last foreign vacation spot): Blackpepper Acapulco.
4. Icon Alias (Something sweet within sight and any liquid in kitchen): Bubblegum Concord.
5. Detective Alias (Favourite baby animal and where you went to high school): Kitty Chaffey.
6. Ghetto Alias (Last snack food you ate and your favorite soda): Boisenberry Pie Fanta.
7. Soap Opera Alias (Middle name and street where you first lived): Cris La Naca. I have no middle name!
8. Rock Star Alias (Favorite candy and last name of favourite musician): Hershey Mayer. Heh. He's not my FAVORITE, but I am listening to him right now, so yeah.

BEEN A LONG TIME.

Not the song.

Let's see. Still over at Sandy's, but leaving soon. We went over to L.A. again since Bill had a doctor's appointment. I was crotcheting a scarf while Sandy and I waited. Some old lady threw a "WTF?" face at me while I was doing my thing. I am doing it in a different way that you don't see everyday. It was assumed that we were going to wait for three days, but the wait only lasted about one and a half hours. We eat a few floors down after that. I eat some spicy mustard. :S That shit burned the fuck out of my nasal passage. Never again. Drove another two hours. I fell asleep during the ride back.

Did some of my own shit before hanging out with Robbie and Bill. We played Sims2. Bleh. I've been up since 5AM, so I didn't feel that great today. I want to rip my head off.

Oh. So, a few days ago, I went back home to get some shit for my application. Well, before I went, Julian called me to go over there and check on the apartment. To make sure no one was there. Then he went on about how he was planning on kicking Kelly out since she has been "starting her shit again." Whatever. Better for Mari and I. So, I did go there and no one was there, but while Mari and I were getting our shit together Kelly came in. She looked very fucked up. I thought she was stoned. Eyes watery. Bruised face. No idea. I called Julian to ask him what was up with her. Then I asked him to call her to make sure she was okay. He tells me later that she was "PMSing." Okay. Again, whatever. Now, I am not sure whether she is living or not. It doesn't matter. I want to move out. And I will. I don't care what it takes. Mari and I can't be in that fucking hellhole.

Hmm. Kolin called me yesterday morning! That made my day. :) It was probably over five or seven months since we last talked on the phone, so I was very-very nervous. I couldn't stop shaking. I love you, honey.

Working out has been cool. I've already lost inches around my hips and I advance on the weights every week. Even though I am losing weight (or inches, I should say. I am still the same weight), I still feel... yeah. I'm probably going to PMS soon.

So. Yeah. Bed is calling me. Maybe.

Now.

Just to make it quick.

Mari came back around 30 minutes ago. I won't see her for another few days, though. Um. Worked out. GOING AGAIN TOMORROW. Helped Sandy make dinner. I made the mashed potatos. She loooved them. Kept going "Mmm. MMM. MM!" It was funny. Lucy stole a piece of my chicken.

Ah. I dunno.

I miss you.

I know.

Too lazy to post elsewhere.

[Currently...]
//currently reading: Nothing specifically right now. Random shit.
//currently listening to: A Kiss To Build A Dream On by Louis Armstrong.
//currently writing: Nothing? I am typing.
//currently watching: Adrenaline Junkie. Not really watching it, but it's on.
//currently wishing: To get a job.
//currently wanting: Some Kolin.
//currently crushing on: KOLIN.
//currently in [what room are you in]: I am in Bill's room. THE BACK ROOM.
//currently wearing: Uh. Black shirt, jeans, Chucks. The shit I wear everyday.

[What's to your...]
//whats to your right?: A bunch of Bill's shit.
//whats to your left?: Some... more... shit.
//whats in front of you?: The wall.
//whats behind you?: The TV.

[Favorites]
//favorite book[s]: Harry Potter series and anything fucking interesting.
//favorite song[s]: So many. Many.
//favorite artist[s]: Um. Rob Gonsalves, Mark Ryden, Kurt Halsey. THEN! I love bands. All kinds. Just... good ones.
//favorite writer[s]: Hmmm. Me. :P
//favorite food[s]: Um. Kosher pickles. Uh. I like meat and some cheese.
//favorite color[s]: Black and rainbow.
//favorite subject in school: Depended on the teacher. I liked English 'cause I was the best at it.
//favorite room in your house: I don't have a house.
//favorite place to be: Outside. Zephyr. Great combo.
//favorite movie[s]: Uh. I LIKE SOME MOVIES.
//favorite tv show[s]: I hardly watch TV now.
//favorite store[s]: Uh. Hmmm. AHH! No idea.
/favorite clothing brands[s]: Uh. I don't have any.

[Love Life]
//boyfriend/girlfriend?: Kolin.
//if so, how long?: Two years and seven or so months.
//if not, do you want one?: BLANK.
//who do you like?: I got who I want.
//have you ever told anyone [other than family members] you loved them?: Sure have.
//did you mean it?: Yesss. I don't fuck around with that.
//how many guys have you kissed?: Nein.
//how many girls have you kissed?: None, son.
//how many guys have you dated?: No dates.
//how many girls have you dated?: None.
//what do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? [physically]: I like'em strong. I dunno. That doesn't matter to me as much as personality does.
//what do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? [personality]: Get to know Kolin. Then you'll know.
//longest relationship?: The current one I am in.
//shortest relationship?: Yeah. Not going there.

[Have You Ever...]
//had sex?: No.
//given oral sex?: No.
//recieved oral sex?:Sigh. Nooo.
//drank alcohol?: Yes.
//smoked?: Yes.

[Do You...]
//drink alcohol?: Not as much.
//smoke?: No cancer sticks for me.
//watch porn? Nah.
//do drugs?: No.
//self-harm?: Heh. I haven't in a while.

[Your Bed]
//size: Twin.
//sheets: White and burgundy.
//how many pillows: I sleep with two, use one.
//stuffed animals: Charlie on the bed.

[Odds n Ends]
//Obsessions: Just say that I have OCD. BDD. ADD. You get it.
//bad habits: Um. Thinking I am ugly and worthless.
//weird fact about yourself: Almost anything about me is weird.
//what kind of music are you into?: You should see my Pandora list. ;)
//best concert: Hmm. I really loved my first one. APC over in Burbank. And City of Champions tour. At The Key Club.

[This or That]
//summer or winter: Wintooor.
//spring or fall: FALL!
//summer or fall: FALLL!!!
//winter or spring. WTF.
//clean or dirty: Clean. Dirty? Depends on what. ;)
//night or day: Night.
//rain or shine: Shiny rain.
//grass or pavement: Grass.
//radio or cds: CDs
//vhs or dvd: DVD.
//board games or computer games: Computer.
//light or dark: Dark.
//movies or mall: Uh. None? Mall. BOOKSTORES!
//football or hockey: None.
//hockey or lacrosse: No.

[What do you think when you hear...]
//metallica: METALlica. I think of the old. One.
//britney spears: Moron.
//christina aguilera: Good voice. Bad style.
//kiss: I don't. NO KISS. NO GENE!
//queen: Bohemian Raphsody.
//good charlotte: Ehh.
//simple plan: ...
//thursday: Heee. Emoo.
//bright eyes: Ehhh.
//bad religion: That one song I like.
//bad company: Hmm. I don't think.
//scorpions: That tape my dad gave me. Oh yes.
//journey: I don't want to think.
//otown: NO! I DON'T WANT TO!
//backstreet boys: AGAIN!


[In Your Own Words]
//your life motto: Because I can.

[Quotes]
//favorite quote: Man will always be mad and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all - Voltaire.
//favorite lyric: Just listen to It's For The Best by Straylight Run.
//favorite oxymoron: Colette!

[Personal Hygiene]
//do you shower every day?: Yes.
//what toothpaste do you use?: Some cinnamon one.
//do you floss?: I do. I forget to sometimes.
//mouthwash?: No. :( I NEED SOME FIRST. I miss it.
//deoderant?: DOVE.
//shampoo?: Whatever.
//conditioner?: Don't matter.
//body wash?: Don't use it.
//face wash?: Don't have anymore :(

[Make-up]
//foundation?: No. That shit fucks up your face. Especially mine.
//powder?: No. Again.
//eyeliner?: Not often.
//mascara?: A MUST
//eyeshadow?: I have to.
//lipstick or lipgloss?: Sometimes.

[Primping]
//shaving or waxing?: Shaving.
//tweezing or waxing?: PLUCKING.
//barber or salon?: Salon.
//straigtening or curling?: None.

[Looks]
//hair color: Black with DRK Brown roots.
//eye color: Drk. Brown.
//skin color: Orange/olive. Mexican.
//nail color: I have nail polish on.
//height: 5'5
//weight: Um. 213. :D
//build: Grandpa says I am big boned. :) Which is true.

[How Often Do You...]
//go shopping?: By myself: Rarely. With Sandy: A LOT.
//go to the movies?: Rarely.
//go out for dinner?: Been going out to dinner a lot with Sandy.
//clean: A lot.
//exercise: Three days a week.
//watch tv: Hardly.
//read: When I find a good book.
//go online: As many times as I can.

Last few days.

Mari is coming back tomorrow. That means my stay here is coming to a close. A stay like this, anyway. I'm still coming around for other reasons. I still need to workout and hang out with Sandy when Bill goes away.

Yes. I told Sandy about Kolin asking me to visit him a few days ago. She said that Mari could stay with her while I was away. But when is now the issue. I can't go this month. If I get the job, I can't go... for a while? IF I get the job, I'd have to wait and see what vacation time I get. Then I can go. If I don't get the job, I am going before I apply again. I just fear that they will do the same thing they did last time. I waited for two months just to get a fucking letter that said that I wasn't "selected" for the interviewing process. Seems to me that NO ONE was selected since I am going to apply for the same job. I don't know. Sorry, Kolin. I wanted to tell you first, but we haven't gotten the chance to talk since last week. It'll be a while. Maybe.

So, we went to L.A. and Hollyweird today. Grandpa came along. Bill had some doctor appointment. I talked to Grandpa most of the time. He's a great talker. I read the L.A. Weekly. After that we went over to Canter's. Grrreeat food. I forgot how fucking good kosher pickles are. I can eat a whole one and not puke. I got some spaghetti with this onion cheese bread. That shit was so fucking good. Mmm. After our meal we went on the hunt for some music that Grandpa wanted to buy. We went over to Virgin. Nothing. Tower. A few selections. Our last stop was great. Amoeba. I saw two sections. One was Jazz/Blues/Classical... and the other was The Rest. Grandpa was looking for some Opera. As soon as we entered the back section... woo. They were playing some New Orleans style jazz. I looooove it. There was hardly any people back there. Yesss. I loved that store. It was HUGE. That Jazz/Blues/Whatever sections was BIGGER than Rhino Records. Shit, any store that carries USED CDs is a great one. Heh. They even have a MySpace. Who the fuck doesn't nowadays? Eee. But the prices... I'd have to check on that. THAT'S WHY YOU BUY USED CDs! Sometimes. Whatever. It was a great store.

Went straight home after that. Blah. I have to get my own place. I belong NOWHERE.

Jazz on the TV.

Bill just gave me $67 worth of prepaid phone cards. "Here. Send these to your boyfriend." Yeeeeah. Heh.

Felt like shit all day. Except during my workout. I always have fun there. But the rest of the day was pretty pleh. Have to wake up earlyish tomorrow since were going to L.A. Hmm.

Sandy told me that her son told her that April's been "jealous" of Mari and I for spending too much time with her. Yeah. Right. One thing, Mari only spends Saturdays with Sandy IF AND WHEN Sandy CALLS HER. And me? I am here to HELP her. And no one is holding April back. She can come down here and help Sandy or invite her to lunch or whatever whenever she wants to. I don't get it. Now I can sense why they don't even look at me. Which is rude, but fuck it. I do that to them, too.

And then Dad called me to tell me that someone that we might know stole mom's van. *shrugs* I dunno what happened there.

Gonna dick around for a while and then bed.

*listening to bluegrass*

Ah yeeeah.

Workout today was GREAT! I didn't want to leave (I never do). It's so much fun there and today they had 80s music in there. Yeeeah. Kat was there again. She's still great. Taught us a few new tricks. I am getting better at the hula and have advanced a few pounds on certain machines. It rained harder today. Sandy and I had fun with that. We didn't do much today. We all spent it in Bill and Sandy's room and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Cleaned the kitched a bit and then went over to Grandpa's so we can take him to dinner. House Kitchen. MMM. I love it there. I have eaten there three times in two weeks. So, it was Sandy, Bill, Grandpa, Robbie, and I. I am still full from everything. I had my usual Raspberry Iced Tea and Grandpa decided to get one too. He always gets the regular kind. He liked it. :D Good thing, because he can be picky. After dinner, we all went back to his placed and watched TV for a while. Went home, Sandy and I busted out the peanut ball, put on a tape, and watched the exercizes. I tried a few. Laaaaaame. But I can't wait to go tomorrow! I really love working out at Contours Express. Loooove.

I have more energy because of it. I've been up since 8 and I am not tired like I should be. I am sleepy, but not tired. Hmm.

Workout tomorrow. Kolin might call. :D I am excited about that. We'll see. It's been a long while. Ah. I love him very much.

Burger King: Where all Dragon Masters eat!

Triumph goes to star wars


View more video clips at Yashi

Rain, rain.

It's been raining since yesterday. It's nice. Relaxing.

Busy again today. I had a headache throughout the day. A lot of arguing makes me irritable. Helped Sandy put up the last of the curtains. Cleaned up a bit, read a bit, watched a bit. Listened a bit. Consulted. Went shopping for groceries. Rick, Eloise, Grandpa, Ray (Bill's dad), Patrick, and April were coming over for dinner. Sandy and Bill cooked and I helped around a bit. Or tried. I asked Sandy for some pills, so she gave me two Tylenol. A while after, Bill gave me half of a Vicodin-like pill. It affected me so much. I was in Woooooooooow World. I still managed to help around, though. But... mmm. I can still feel a little bit of it. The dinner was good. Grandpa lit the last of the candle and placed it on the minorah. Then we toasted before we ate. Good health, mostly. Food was great. I had to sit with Patrick and April. They weren't talking to me. Fuck it. They seemed very distant with everyone. I don't think they like me much. lol I don't care. We have nothing in common.

I sat down and watched TV with Eloise after dinner. I saw that Patrick was starting to help Sandy put away shit, so I didn't bother. He seemed like someone was making him do it. I dunno. He was pissed about something. *shrugs* Then I watched some more Twilight Zone with Ray and Grandpa. I've been watching it since New Year's Eve with Bill and Sandy. Everyone left by that time.

I don't know how the conversation began, but Grandpa started talking to me about the show and about how the women looked (we had this conversation before) and from there he started talking about his wife and it got really heavy after that. The things he said... I tried really hard to keep from crying. Most of them made me think of Kolin. I could see it in his eyes, the pain he felt from the death of his wife. Then he talked about my situation. It was all painful to hear and I was holding it all in until he said, "And I am talking to you like you're my daughter." I fucking lost it. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I just covered my face, leaned forward, and let go. Sandy freaked out a little bit. "Daad?? What did you do to her!?" I think I freaked Grandpa out, too. He came over to me very quickly and started to comfort me. I stood up and apologized for crying and hugged him for a while. And as a sat down, he kissed my forehead. No one has ever done that to me before. He looked me in the eyes and told me a few more things before he sat back down and went back to talking about the Twilight Zone.

Before he left, he gave me another hug and told me a few other things. He makes me feel very special. He hardly KNOWS me and he already knows how I feel without me even saying a damn thing about what's been going on with me every since Mom left. He knew.

So. Workout tomorrow! I can't wait. I already miss it.

Oh. And while we were cooking, Bill found this new music on XM. Snakefinger. It is the weirdest shit I have EVER heard of in my life. I guess it's "jazz?" I think it was in the Jazz station. We were listening to that and Bluegrass, so... I dunno. BUT CHECK IT OUT. Very strange.

2006

ColetteMarie says:
lol
OxieContin™ says:
OMG
OxieContin™ says:
Lucy is shaking :(
ColetteMarie says:
I said "it's almost the new year for you and I am the one who is a little tipsy"
ColetteMarie says:
Lucy?
OxieContin™ says:
Lol Haha.
ColetteMarie says:
?
OxieContin™ says:
Anyway, Lucy is one of their dogs.
ColetteMarie says:
oooh
OxieContin™ says:
She is afraid of fireworks.
ColetteMarie says:
oooh
OxieContin™ says:
She was sleeping under the desk and she started shaking.
ColetteMarie says:
they don't do fireworks around here too much
ColetteMarie says:
too cold
OxieContin™ says:
So, I took her back to her mom and dad.
OxieContin™ says:
Heh. Yeah.
OxieContin™ says:
Dumbasspeople here.
ColetteMarie says:
heh
ColetteMarie says:
how long is this movie?
OxieContin™ says:
Must be long
OxieContin™ says:
OMG!
OxieContin™ says:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ColetteMarie says:
?
ColetteMarie says:
OH!
ColetteMarie says:
YEAH!
ColetteMarie says:
CHEERS!
OxieContin™ says:
LOL!
OxieContin™ says:
CHEERS!
OxieContin™ says:
Sorry, I went outside to check out the fireworks and guns
ColetteMarie says:
almost missed it!
OxieContin™ says:
I know!
ColetteMarie says:
but you got it!
OxieContin™ says:
Yah!
ColetteMarie says:
lol
ColetteMarie says:
yay!
ColetteMarie says:
2006!
OxieContin™ says:
:( OMG Lucy came right in here and she is SHAKING.
ColetteMarie says:
aw damn
OxieContin™ says:
Aww
OxieContin™ says:
She left now
OxieContin™ says:
Lol poor girl
ColetteMarie says:
lol
OxieContin™ says:
Yay.
OxieContin™ says:
New year and all that.
ColetteMarie says:
yay!
OxieContin™ says:
lol
ColetteMarie says:
here's to losing your virignity!
ColetteMarie says:
THIS YEAR
OxieContin™ says:
XD!
OxieContin™ says:
NO
ColetteMarie says:
yes yes yes YESSSSSSS
ColetteMarie says:
hahaha
OxieContin™ says: :P